Grief: Coping with the Loss of Your Loved One

Grief: Coping with the Loss of Your Loved One

The best way I can describe my experience with grief is feeling like I am stuck in a dark void of silence. On the inside, I can feel myself screaming, but no one can hear me. I have found that loss can be lonely even when you’re in a crowded room surrounded by others. You may get lost in your thoughts and lose track of time until you are reminded of the harsh truth that grief has invaded every fiber of your being. Grief can also upset our sense of time and reality. You may even find yourself ruminating on two aspects of time, before your loss and after. The before is filled with happiness, memories, and a sense of belonging. The after may feel like a lonely place that causes you to second-guess every aspect of your life. If you are struggling with your after, this message is for you.

Grieve in your own way

Everyone handles their grief differently and it is important that you deal with your feelings in your own way. There is no timeline or roadmap for how grief should affect you. It is normal to feel lost or even numb. The numbness scares many people because they fear that something is wrong with them or that their loss broke them. However, numbness after loss, though scary, is actually a common experience. It is your mind’s way of defending your body from the immeasurable pain you are dealing with. This is why it is important to take grief day by day. Do not force yourself to feel a certain way or condemn yourself for how you are choosing to deal with your grief. Others may not understand, but they don’t have to.

Reach out for support

When you lose a loved one, it is natural to feel like you need to deal with your feelings on your own. Though it is important to take time for yourself, don’t get stuck there. Isolating yourself from the world only makes your return to daily life more difficult. It is helpful to talk to others who have gone through loss because their experiences can bring you comfort. Many find solace in grief counseling or bereavement groups. There are different forms of bereavement groups and it is helpful to find one that pertains to your circumstances. Some specialized groups are for those mourning the loss of a spouse, child, or parent, to name a few. When you connect with others who share your pain, you find a whole new level of healing. Many know the agony of loss and can deeply relate to what you are going through. This gives you the freedom to simply be.

Find a routine

During times of loss, keeping a routine helps to recover some sense of stability in your life. You may not feel like doing anything, and that is okay, but eventually you can find healing. When that day comes, it is helpful to have an established plan to help you keep moving. One day, you will look back and realize that going through the motions of your routine is what saved you. When an immeasurable loss is experienced, it is common for people to experience depression. You may not feel like getting out of bed or even eating, but it is important to take care of yourself during these times. You may be asking yourself, “What’s the point?” And if so, you are not alone. Many struggle to pick up the pieces after loss, but it is possible.


Roll with the waves

As a person who has experienced grief, I can honestly tell you that it comes in waves. This is a common experience for those who are mourning the loss of a loved one. Some days it feels like the waves are crashing over you and you can’t catch your breath. Other days it feels like the tide is slowly ebbing and flowing and your pain subsides to a dull ache felt in the background of life. These are the days when grief seems manageable and you may even feel like you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Don’t become discouraged when the high tide of pain returns. This is a normal process and your experiences will vary from day to day. It is important to acknowledge where you are and feel the pain. This gives the mind and body permission to heal at their own pace.

Next Steps

If you are struggling to find your new normal and need help navigating the loss of a loved one, we have a team of highly trained therapists who can guide you through your journey. Grief can be lonely, and it is easy to feel like others don’t understand, but we pride ourselves on being transparent and compassionate.We want you to know that you don’t have to face this alone. Whether you are interested in learning skills to cope with your pain, seeking help in processing your complex grief, or simply want to understand your feelings, we are here to help. We provide a comforting environment where you can feel free to express all of your feelings, even the ones that you are afraid or ashamed to acknowledge. If you are ready to learn how to navigate your grief with a personalized counseling experience then we are here for you. Our team of compassionate therapists will walk WITH you through this season and stay by your side through this difficult time. The next step is to invite us in by calling (405)-921-7776 learn more about how we can help.

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Andrew BrownAndrew Brown
11:05 06 Feb 24
Shawn called me directly and sought out a resolution with me for a recent poor experience I had. He showed genuine care and consideration over the phone, and demonstrated he truly cares about the clients that come here and wants everyone to get the help they need. That's how it needs to be in any place helping others in God. God bless.
Andy EatonAndy Eaton
21:00 11 Oct 23
I totally recommend Josh Rhoades. He's helped me overcome a lot of anxiety and work-related stress and the effects it's had on me this year. For any guys out there wondering if they should go to counseling, you should definitely give Josh and New Vision a try.
Mark VonFeldtMark VonFeldt
12:04 23 Aug 23
I admit I didn't think I needed counciling but when I hit a tough period in life. Caleb McKean at New Vison Counseling was extrodinary in helping me out and providing encourgement, prespective and confidence. In addition, it was great seeing Shawn McGuire who consitantly provided an uplifting personality that’s just contagious.
Elizabeth ProtzmanElizabeth Protzman
11:41 24 May 23
My husband and I just wrapped up counseling with Shawn. And if you told me 6 months ago our family would be how we are now, I would have been in total disbelief. Shawn’s approach to counseling is next level and took us to new places we never thought that we could experience freedom and he put a light on places we never knew were still dragging us down.My husband (before counseling) had past trauma that weighed him down so heavily that his negative self talk was taking over his mental life. He was completely unable to be social anywhere, see positivity in anything, and talked with a super meek voice because he didn’t see worth in himself. We thought that “this is just his personality”, but Shawn was able to uncover the trauma that was holding him back and helped him break free of it. He now speaks with a voice to be heard and even he engages in social situations!I went through a terrible health scare while we were going through sessions. My optometrist thought that I had a tumor or fluid build up in my skull. Shawn helped me navigate all of the feelings that I kept shoving down. On my second session of talking about this medical situation, we really got to the root of my stress and behavior in this situation and in life. I felt a ton of weight lifted off of me in that moment just by digging out every root in my heart that wasn’t welcome there. Later that day (a Thursday) I had my MRI scans and that Sunday I woke up headache/migraine free for the first time in four months. Monday I got the news that nothing was there. I truly believe that God did a healing work in that therapy session. A physical healing of my body and a spiritual healing of my mind.Through all of this Shawn was not only there for just our counseling sessions, but when I was going through all of the medical stuff he would check in and see how everything was going. He recommended for my husband to go to a camp that absolutely played a part in changing my husband’s life. And all that I’ve shared is only the surface of all of the healing we received. I would have to write a novel for the rest, lol.If you’re looking for healing and willing to show up and put in the work…Shawn will help you get there.
Steve RodriguezSteve Rodriguez
14:25 06 May 22
New Vision Counseling and Consulting saved my marriage as they helped and are helping me deal with my issues with depression and anxiety. I have been taught new methods of dealing with these issues and they are life saving. I have enjoyed my experience with Shawn Maguire, the best therapist I could ask for, and feel this place is a Godsend. I never thought therapy would work for me but I was wrong and wish I had come here sooner. Excited for what the future holds.

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