What Causes a Lack of Personal Boundaries

Posted on September 1, 2023
Understanding the Concept of Boundaries The concept of “boundaries” has gained significant attention, but what exactly do boundaries entail? In the realm of personal relationships, boundaries encompass the guidelines, rules, or limits that individuals establish for themselves or communicate to others regarding their preferred treatment, what they are willing to accept, and their personal limitations. These boundaries span physical, emotional, and intellectual aspects. Physical boundaries relate to personal space and physical touch, while emotional boundaries involve safeguarding your feelings from external influences. Intellectual boundaries revolve around shielding your thoughts and ideas. Examples of boundaries include: Asserting “no” in situations that clash with your values or make you uncomfortable. Imposing restrictions on the time spent with specific individuals. Expressing clear communication when someone breaches a line or boundary you’ve set. Prioritizing self-care and your own needs. Safeguarding your personal information and emotions that you prefer not to share. Overall, boundaries are pivotal for nurturing healthy relationships as they enable individuals to uphold their autonomy, self-esteem, and emotional well-being. Exploring the Causes of a Lack of Personal Boundaries How do you find yourself grappling with a deficiency in personal boundaries? There exist numerous factors contributing to this predicament, such as: Upbringing: Were you raised in an environment where boundaries were disregarded or not reinforced? If so, setting and maintaining boundaries might be a challenge. Trauma: Have you experienced traumatic events like physical, emotional, or sexual abuse? Trauma can lead to difficulties in boundary-setting, stemming from feelings of powerlessness. Low Self-Esteem: Struggling with low self-esteem can hinder boundary-setting, as confidence in self-worth and self-assertion may be lacking. Codependency: In a codependent relationship where emotional needs are excessively reliant on a partner, setting boundaries can be daunting due to the fear of losing approval or support. Fear of Conflict: Does conflict intimidate you? Fear of confrontation might cause you to avoid boundary-setting to evade upsetting others. Cultural/Societal Pressures: Societal or cultural norms that prioritize others’ needs over your own can make prioritizing personal boundaries challenging. Finding Your Path Forward It’s crucial to recognize that a lack of personal boundaries is multifaceted, often stemming from a combination of factors. Addressing this issue necessitates therapy, introspection, and boundary-establishing exercises. This process aids individuals in identifying and enforcing personal boundaries. Embrace Positive Change If you resonate with these insights and yearn for more knowledge about boundaries, there’s hope. New Vision Counseling and Consulting is your partner on this journey. We stand beside you, offering encouragement and therapy resources to regain control over your life and rediscover joy. Your next step involves reaching out, either by calling (405) 921-7776. We eagerly anticipate connecting with you and welcoming you into our supportive community.

Anger, Can Counseling Help?

Posted on August 23, 2023
Do you have anger Anger is a powerful emotion that can affect anyone, regardless of age or background. It is a normal human response to certain situations, but when it becomes uncontrollable or frequent, it may be a sign of deeper issues. Understanding the root causes of anger and learning how to manage it effectively are crucial steps towards finding inner peace and healthier relationships. One common trigger for anger is stress. When we feel overwhelmed by work, family responsibilities, or other life pressures, our emotions can easily escalate into anger. Learning healthy coping mechanisms like deep breathing exercises or engaging in physical activities can help reduce stress levels and prevent anger from taking over. Another factor contributing to anger is unresolved conflicts or past traumas. Unresolved issues can build up resentment over time and lead to explosive outbursts. Seeking therapy or counseling can provide a safe space for individuals to explore these underlying emotions and develop strategies for resolving conflicts in a constructive manner. Additionally, poor communication skills often contribute to misunderstandings and frustration which fuel anger further. Learning effective communication techniques such as active listening and assertiveness can greatly improve interpersonal relationships while reducing the likelihood of angry confrontations. By addressing the root causes of anger through self-reflection, seeking professional help when needed, practicing stress management techniques, improving communication skills; individuals struggling with anger can find hope in their journey towards healing and personal growth. Is there hope for you? Anger is a powerful emotion that can often feel overwhelming and uncontrollable. It can negatively impact relationships, physical health, and overall well-being. However, it’s important to remember that there is always hope for change and growth. Recognizing the presence of anger in your life is the first step towards finding hope. By acknowledging your emotions and their effects on yourself and others, you open up the possibility for healing and transformation. Seeking support from a professional counselor or therapist who specializes in anger management can provide valuable guidance and tools to help navigate this journey. Developing healthy coping mechanisms is crucial when it comes to overcoming anger. Learning effective communication skills, practicing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or mindfulness exercises, engaging in regular physical activity, and seeking outlets for self-expression are all strategies that can contribute to managing anger more effectively. Remember that change takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself as you work towards overcoming anger issues. With dedication, support, and a willingness to learn new ways of responding to triggers, there is indeed hope for a happier and more peaceful future. How to overcome anger Anger is a powerful emotion that can have negative effects on our well-being and relationships. To overcome anger, it is important to first understand its root causes and triggers. Self-reflection and introspection are key in identifying the underlying issues that contribute to your anger. This may involve examining past experiences, unresolved conflicts, or patterns of behavior. Once you have identified the factors contributing to your anger, it is essential to develop healthy coping mechanisms. These can include practicing relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or engaging in physical activities like exercise or yoga. Finding healthy outlets for your emotions can help release pent-up frustration and reduce feelings of anger. In addition to self-help strategies, seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor can be beneficial in overcoming anger. They can provide guidance and support tailored specifically to your needs, helping you navigate through challenging emotions and providing tools for managing anger effectively. Remember that overcoming anger takes time and effort; it is not an overnight process. Be patient with yourself as you work towards healing and growth. With dedication and the right support system, there is hope for anyone struggling with anger management issues. New Vision Counseling and Consulting can Help Anger is a powerful emotion that can have serious consequences if not properly managed. It can affect your relationships, physical health, and overall well-being. If you find yourself struggling with anger issues, it’s important to seek help from professionals who specialize in anger management. New Vision Counseling and Consulting offers expert guidance and support to individuals dealing with anger-related challenges. Overcoming anger requires a deep understanding of the underlying causes and triggers. The experienced counselors at New Vision Counseling and Consulting are trained to help you identify these factors and develop effective strategies for managing your anger. Through therapy sessions tailored specifically to your needs, you will learn healthy coping mechanisms that allow you to express your emotions in a constructive manner. Seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness but rather an act of self-care. At New Vision Counseling and Consulting, our compassionate team provides a safe space where you can openly discuss your feelings without judgment or criticism. They will work closely with you to explore the root causes of your anger, helping you gain insight into patterns of behavior that contribute to its intensity. Remember that change takes time and effort, but with the right support system in place, overcoming anger is possible. Don’t let this destructive emotion control your life any longer – reach out to New Vision Counseling and Consulting today for the help you need on your journey towards healing and inner peace. How can New Vision Counseling and Consulting help with anger issues? New Vision Counseling and Consulting offers professional counseling and consulting services aimed at helping individuals overcome anger issues. Our experienced therapists provide guidance and support to help clients better understand the root causes of their anger and develop healthy coping mechanisms. What are the signs that I may have anger issues? Signs of anger issues can vary from person to person, but some common signs include frequent and intense outbursts of anger, difficulty controlling anger, physical aggression, becoming easily irritated or frustrated, and a general feeling of anger or resentment. Is there hope for me to overcome my anger issues? Yes, there is hope for overcoming anger issues. With the right support and guidance, individuals can learn to manage their anger in healthier ways and improve their overall emotional well-being. New Vision Counseling and Consulting can provide the help and tools needed for this journey. How can I overcome my anger? Overcoming anger involves a combination of self-awareness, self-control, and healthy coping strategies. It is important to identify triggers and underlying emotions, practice relaxation techniques, engage in regular exercise, develop effective communication skills, and seek professional help when needed. What can I expect from counseling sessions at New Vision Counseling and Consulting? Counseling sessions at New Vision Counseling and Consulting are confidential, safe, and non-judgmental environments where clients can openly express their feelings and concerns. Our therapists will work with you to develop personalized strategies and provide guidance and support throughout your journey towards managing anger. How long does it typically take to overcome anger issues? The duration of overcoming anger issues can vary depending on the individual and the severity of their anger. It is a unique process for each person. Regular counseling sessions, consistent effort, and commitment to personal growth are key factors in achieving positive and long-lasting results. How can I contact New Vision Counseling and Consulting for help with my anger issues? To get the help you need, you can contact New Vision Counseling and Consulting by visiting our website and filling out the contact form, or by calling our office during business hours. Our friendly staff will be happy to assist you in scheduling an appointment with one of our experienced therapists.  

The Benefits of Premarital Counseling

Posted on August 4, 2023
The Benefits of Premarital Counseling: Building a Strong Foundation for a Lifetime of Love Entering into a marriage is an exciting and joyous time, but it can also be filled with uncertainty and apprehension. As you and your partner embark on this journey together, it is important to lay a solid foundation for a strong and healthy relationship. One valuable tool that can assist in this process is premarital counseling. At New Vision Counseling and Consulting in Oklahoma City, we believe that premarital counseling is an essential investment in your future, and we are here to guide you through this transformative experience. Understanding Premarital Counseling Premarital counseling is a form of therapy that helps engaged couples prepare for married life. It typically involves meeting with a trained and experienced therapist who specializes in working with couples. The counselor facilitates discussions, provides guidance, and offers strategies and tools to help couples navigate common challenges that arise in marriage. Strengthen Your Connection One of the key benefits of premarital counseling is the opportunity to deepen and strengthen your connection with your partner. Through guided conversations and activities, you will explore important topics such as communication, conflict resolution, family dynamics, financial management, and shared values. These discussions lay the groundwork for better understanding and empathy, enabling you to build a strong emotional bond with your partner. Develop Effective Communication Skills Communication is the foundation of any successful relationship. Premarital counseling provides a safe and supportive environment to develop and enhance your communication skills. You will learn effective listening techniques, how to express your needs and desires clearly, and how to navigate difficult conversations with respect and understanding. By developing these skills early on, you can prevent misunderstandings and conflicts from escalating and maintain open and healthy communication throughout your marriage. Learn Conflict Resolution Strategies Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, and being equipped with effective conflict resolution strategies is essential for a thriving marriage. Premarital counseling focuses on teaching you constructive ways to address and resolve conflicts in a healthy manner. You will learn how to manage disagreements, negotiate compromises, and find win-win solutions that honor both partners’ needs and desires. These skills will lay the foundation for a peaceful and harmonious marriage. Addressing Unresolved Issues Premarital counseling provides a space to address any unresolved issues or concerns before entering into marriage. This could include discussing past traumas, addressing trust or commitment issues, or exploring individual goals and expectations. By addressing these issues in therapy, you can identify potential challenges and work through them together, ensuring that you enter into marriage with a clear understanding and a solid foundation of trust and support. Setting Goals and Expectations Premarital counseling allows you and your partner to set goals and establish shared expectations for your marriage. You will have the opportunity to discuss your vision for the future, family planning, career aspirations, and how you will navigate major life transitions together. By aligning your goals and clarifying your expectations, you can ensure that you are both on the same page and working towards a future that brings fulfillment and happiness to both partners. Enhance Intimacy and Emotional Connection A successful marriage requires a deep emotional and physical connection. Premarital counseling provides a platform to explore and enhance your intimacy and connection. You will learn about the importance of emotional attunement, expressing affection, and maintaining a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship with your partner. By prioritizing intimacy and connection from the start, you can create a foundation for a passionate and loving marriage. Develop Resilience and Navigate Change Marriage is a journey filled with ups and downs, and it is important to develop resilience as a couple to navigate the inevitable challenges that life may bring. Premarital counseling equips you with the tools and mindset to face adversity together. You will learn how to support each other through difficult times, foster resilience, and adapt to changes in your relationship. By developing these skills early on, you can create a marriage that can weather any storm. Conclusion: Invest in Your Future Premarital counseling is a valuable investment in your future as a couple. It provides a supportive and nurturing space to address potential challenges, improve communication, and strengthen your connection. At New Vision Counseling and Consulting in Oklahoma City, we are committed to helping couples build a strong foundation for a lifetime of love. Our experienced and compassionate therapists are here to guide and support you through the premarital counseling process, ensuring that you enter into marriage with the tools and skills necessary for a successful and fulfilling partnership. Take the first step towards a strong and healthy marriage by scheduling a premarital counseling session with us today. Contact us at (405) 921-1776 to learn more about our premarital counseling services. Invest in your future and build a lasting love that thrives on understanding, communication, and mutual support.  

What to look for in a therapist

Posted on August 4, 2023
When seeking a therapist, it is crucial to consider their qualifications and experience. Look for someone who has the appropriate credentials and training in the specific area you need help with. For example, if you are struggling with anxiety, finding a therapist who specializes in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) or other evidence-based treatments for anxiety would be beneficial. Additionally, inquire about their years of experience working with clients facing similar challenges. Another important aspect to look for in a therapist is their approach or therapeutic orientation. Different therapists may utilize various techniques and theories to guide their practice. Some common therapeutic approaches include psychodynamic therapy, CBT, Christian therapy, and EMDR. Research these and other approaches to determine which one aligns best with your needs and preferences. Furthermore, establishing a good rapport and feeling comfortable with your therapist is essential for effective therapy. Pay attention to how well they listen and understand your concerns during an initial consultation or session. A compassionate and non-judgmental attitude from the therapist can create a safe space where you feel supported throughout your healing journey. Remember that finding the right therapist takes time but making an informed decision will greatly contribute to successful outcomes in therapy. Among the best in Oklahoma city is New Vision Counseling and Consulting New Vision Counseling and Consulting is a highly reputable therapy practice located in Oklahoma City. With a team of experienced therapists, they offer a wide range of services to cater to various mental health needs. Whether you are seeking individual counseling, couples therapy, or family counseling, New Vision Counseling and Consulting has the expertise to provide effective support. One key aspect that sets New Vision Counseling and Consulting apart is their commitment to personalized care. They understand that each individual’s situation is unique and requires tailored treatment approaches. Their therapists take the time to listen attentively and develop customized strategies that address your specific concerns. By prioritizing individualized care, they ensure that you receive the support you need for your personal growth and healing. Another strength of New Vision Counseling and Consulting lies in their diverse team of therapists who specialize in different areas. From anxiety disorders to trauma recovery, depression to relationship conflicts, their therapists have extensive experience working with various mental health conditions. This breadth of expertise allows them to offer comprehensive treatment options under one roof. In addition to their professional qualifications, New Vision Counseling and Consulting prides itself on creating a warm and welcoming environment for clients. They strive to foster an atmosphere where individuals feel safe opening up about their struggles without fear or judgment. The compassionate nature of their therapists helps build strong therapeutic relationships based on trust and empathy. Overall, if you are searching for top-notch therapy services in Oklahoma City, look no further than New Vision Counseling and Consulting. With their commitment to personalized care, diverse expertise across mental health domains, and compassionate approach towards clients’ well-being – they stand out as one of the best choices available for those seeking professional help. What should I look for in a therapist? When choosing a therapist, it is important to consider their qualifications, experience, and approach to therapy. Look for someone who is licensed or certified in their field, has experience working with issues similar to your own, and whose therapeutic approach aligns with your needs and preferences. Is New Vision Counseling and Consulting one of the best in Oklahoma City? Yes, New Vision Counseling and Consulting is recognized as one of the best counseling and consulting services in Oklahoma City and are the top rated and reviewed practice in Oklahoma. They have a team of highly qualified and experienced therapists who provide effective and compassionate care to their clients. What services does New Vision Counseling and Consulting offer? New Vision Counseling and Consulting offers a wide range of services, including individual therapy, couples therapy, family therapy, group therapy, and business coaching and consulting. They specialize in various areas such as anxiety, depression, relationship issues, trauma, family counseling and more. How can I schedule an appointment with New Vision Counseling and Consulting? To schedule an appointment with New Vision Counseling and Consulting, you can visit their website or contact their office directly at or call (405) 921-7776. They have a user-friendly online booking system and friendly staff who will assist you in finding a suitable appointment time. Are the therapists at New Vision Counseling and Consulting licensed? Because they are a training ground for the next generation of therapists, they have a mixture of licensed and unlicensed counselors at New Vision Counseling and Consulting.  They undergo rigorous training and education to ensure they provide the highest quality of care to their clients. How long are therapy sessions at New Vision Counseling and Consulting? Therapy sessions at New Vision Counseling and Consulting typically last around 45 minutes. However, the duration may vary depending on the specific needs and goals of each individual or couple seeking therapy. Are the therapy sessions confidential? Yes, therapy sessions at New Vision Counseling and Consulting are confidential. Therapists follow strict ethical guidelines and laws regarding client confidentiality. Your privacy and trust are highly valued and respected. Does New Vision Counseling and Consulting accept insurance? Yes, some of the therapists at New Vision Counseling and Consulting accepts various insurance plans. Other therapists only accept private pay.  It is recommended to contact their office or check their website to verify if they accept your specific insurance provider. Can I choose a specific therapist at New Vision Counseling and Consulting? Yes, you can request a specific therapist at New Vision Counseling and Consulting based on your preferences or recommendations. They strive to match each client with the most suitable therapist to ensure the best possible therapeutic outcomes. If you have questions or would like to make and appointment with a therapist at New Vision Counseling and Consulting please reach out at or call (405) 921-7776.  We hope to hear from you soon.  

Is Premarital Counseling Worth it?

Posted on July 10, 2023
Is premarital counseling worth it? What is it? Why should my fiance attend that awkward meeting with his future mother-in-law? Will it ensure a successful marriage? What if premarital counseling reveals that I am not compatible with my fiance’? These are all questions you should be asking yourself if you are planning on tying the knot. In this blog, I’ll cover why premarital counseling is beneficial and help you evaluate whether it’s worth your while. Benefits of Premarital Counseling Marriage is a big decision and one of the most significant commitments we will make in life, so taking the necessary steps to prepare is essential for the longevity of your relationship. The benefits of premarital counseling are well-documented. Couples who go through the process are more likely to stay together and have happier marriages. But what exactly is premarital counseling? It’s exactly what it sounds like- a series of meetings between a couple and a qualified therapist before they get married. It’s meant to help you and your fiance’ identify any issues that could lead to problems down the road and to help you discover healthy ways to deal with your differences and build a foundation that can last. Healthy Communication In addition to helping you prepare for marriage, premarital counseling also teaches you and your partner about healthy communication skills such as active listening (paying attention), expressing feelings in an appropriate way (without blaming or criticizing), and problem solving together instead of arguing over who’s right/wrong etc. These kinds of things aren’t always easy when you’re stressed out by life’s daily pressures–but they’re important! Emotional identification and regulation can be difficult for even the most cognizant individuals, so it is important to learn to name your emotions, and be able to effectively communicate them to your partner. A healthy way to ensure that they understand your point of view is to have them reflect back what they heard you say. This helps to diminish misunderstandings and miscommunication. Identifying Potential Problems Premarital counseling is a good way to identify issues in your relationship before they become serious. It’s also a chance for both of you to discuss your goals for the future and how you’ll work together as a team. Your therapist will guide you and your fiance in discussing various aspects of your relationship such as intimacy, values, family planning, and how to best deal with potential conflicts. Love is a powerful thing but does not always guarantee compatibility. By discussing areas that you both value and areas that may require compromise, you can decide what matters most and find solutions to meet in the middle. Remember, there will not always be complete resolutions for some arguments.. Sometimes this means agreeing to disagree so that the vitality of your relationship remains intact. Teamwork In the beginning of a relationship and early in marriage, it may be easy to remain devoted to your partner, but too often differences, selfish gain, and hasty decision making can diminish the mutual care and respect that you always vowed to give to your partner. We must keep in mind that it is you and your partner vs. the problem, rather than you vs. your partner. Always feel the need to be right? This is a habit that can quickly become exhausting and can create a wedge in between you and your partner. Focusing on proving your partner wrong is a losing situation. People come from different walks of life and have different subjective experiences, so it is impossible to agree on everything. A healthy way to express a differing viewpoint is to say, “I understand what you are saying, but I have a different perspective.” This gives you the opportunity to explain where you are coming from and to work on meeting in the middle. Next Steps Premarital counseling is an essential step to building a strong and enduring marriage. It will help you and your fiance’ navigate the journey ahead by providing you with the tools and skills you need to face future challenges. It is extremely beneficial to address potential issues before they hijack your relationship and jeopardize your happiness with one another. By scheduling premarital counseling, you are investing in the future of your marriage. At New Vision Counseling and Consulting, our therapists are trained in providing knowledgeable support that you can utilize in your marriage such as conflict resolution, communication skills, and building trust. Call and speak with our client care specialist today to get more information and resources about our counseling services. We can be reached by calling (405) 921-7776.

How Do You Fix a Struggling Marriage?

Posted on July 10, 2023
Marriage can be one of the most meaningful and beautiful relationships we experience but requires immense work and compromise. The ups and downs of life leave no page unturned, and difficult things affect your relationship in one way or another, despite your best effort to prevent it. Financial obligations, opposing parenting styles, unfaithfulness, dishonesty, and complacency are just a few of the negative influences that bulldoze the well-being of a relationship. This is why addressing issues promptly and effectively before they build up and demolish your marriage is important, but many are not proactive and discover that issues have exponentially worsened over the years. A struggling marriage can be hard to repair, but below are some tips to help you begin the path to restoring your marriage. Identifying Problems in Your Marriage The first step toward fixing a struggling marriage is identifying the core problems being experienced. Set aside specific time to speak with your spouse about what is bothering you, and ensure that you are completely focused on the conversation. A helpful way to explain your feelings without sounding accusatory is to say, “When you__, I feel __.” For example, “When you yell at me in public, I feel hurt and humiliated.” Another important step in this process is called reflective listening. This exercise is completed by having your partner reflect on what you have disclosed. For instance, your partner may say, “ I’m hearing that when I yell at you in public, it hurts your feelings and makes you feel humiliated.” This is an effective way to ensure you and your partner understand exactly what is being communicated. It can be hard to remain silent when discussing hurtful scenarios, but it is important for each of you to give the other person space to explain before challenging their views or becoming defensive. Reconnect Emotionally Couples who drift apart emotionally experience diminished intimacy and connection with one another. The stress of daily life, work, and kids can make you forget about nurturing your relationship. It is essential to remember that your marriage ranks second only to your relationship with the Lord. Many couples lose track of this and put all their focus and energy into raising their kids and working long hours. Filling your partner’s love tank is comparable to filling up your car. If you don’t put energy into your marriage, you can’t expect to get very far and may even end up broken down and alone. To reconnect emotionally, spend quality time together, and create new, shared meaning. Everyone changes and evolves throughout their lifetime, but it is important to grow together. By continually doing mutually exciting things or trying new hobbies, you can ensure that you grow closer as you move through the changing tides of life. Work Together to Find Solutions When issues arise, it is important to compromise and try to understand where your partner is coming from. One partner often feels the other is completely to blame so they place all of the responsibility for the relationship’s well-being onto them without taking any personal accountability. In order to make true progress, you must work on your issues together with genuine honesty, mutual respect, and openness. This increases the chances of success and allows you both to make amends. Make sure that you validate your partner’s feelings and experiences, even if you hold a different view. You can validate their feelings so they feel valued and heard without validating their negative behaviors. Valuing each other enough to truly listen to what they are saying is vital to a loving marriage. There are some issues in marriage that may never be completely resolved, but you can still progress forward with understanding and empathy regardless. Some issues, like infidelity and abuse should not be moved past and need to be resolved to have a chance to heal and build a healthy relationship. Seek Professional Advice It can be scary to seek professional counseling for your marriage because you are inviting a complete stranger into the most intimate parts of your relationship, but this can also be one of the most beneficial steps you can take to repair your marriage. A skilled therapist will offer an objective view of the issues that you are experiencing and provide guidance on how to move forward. Therapeutic conversations and exercises not only assist in healing but also propel marriages forward into a place of wellness that may not have otherwise been attainable. It is important to keep in mind that therapy can make things worse before they get better, but putting in honest effort and hard work will get you the relational reward that you both desire. Next Steps We hope these tips will assist you in repairing and improving your marriage, but should you desire further assistance, New Vision Counseling and Consulting can provide you with information about our therapeutic process and set you up for success. Seeking counseling will not only improve your marriage but will also help you understand yourself on a deeper level. We cannot truly change what we are unaware of. Consequently, self-exploration is an important part of evolving into the best version of yourself so you can show up as your best self in your marriage. True change begins on a spiritual level, so we want to guide you through transformation and restoration so that your behaviors reflect the healthy changes you are making internally. We are here to help guide you through the decision-making process so that you can implement changes that will create a life you and your partner want to be a part of. Reach out today by calling (405) 921-7776. We can’t wait to hear from you!

Signs of a Toxic Relationship

Posted on July 10, 2023
All relationships have their ups and downs and each comes with its own challenges. No two people agree on everything, and if they do, it is likely not a healthy relationship. Extreme agreeableness either means that one person is afraid to be themselves or they have detached emotionally from a relationship. Perfection is not attainable, but love, respect, and trust are. These should be the foundational building blocks of any relationship that you are involved in. If you consistently feel disrespected, controlled, used, or lied to, it may be time to assess whether you are in a toxic relationship. Toxic relationships are full of disrespect, hurt, betrayal, and deceit. Not sure if this pertains to your relationship? Keep reading to find out! Lack of Respect Toxic relationships are full of disrespect. Do you frequently feel that your opinions are unheard or disregarded? If so, it may be time to establish boundaries and communicate how you feel. Friends may repeatedly break their promises or parents may consistently judge your life choices. Romantic partners may be dismissive or openly flirt with other people despite your protest. All of these actions depict a lack of respect. It is worth giving people a chance to alter their behavior, but if improvement or effort does not occur, you may need to remove yourself from the situation completely. Constant Criticism Regularly receiving comments that undermine, belittle, or humiliate you can lead to feelings of degradation and low self-esteem. The people you surround yourself with should build you up and provide mutual support. However, it is worth noting that constructive criticism is not toxic. Constructive criticism may consist of comments and advice that are meant to empower and challenge you to be better, rather than tearing you down. Negative criticism is usually used to attack your character, appearance, or self-worth. Maybe your boss refuses to acknowledge your effort and makes you feel that everything you do is wrong. Or your partner constantly makes demeaning comments and aims to demolish your self-image. When you are immersed in these types of environments long enough, their voice becomes the voice that you speak to yourself with and you may begin to believe it. Control and Manipulation If your partner seeks to control you through manipulation or fear, this is a sign that they have malicious intentions. Maybe they try to isolate you or force you to abandon other close relationships, or they want you to separate from your friends and family. This is a tactic that people use to establish dominance over your mind and environment so that they can control your actions and emotions. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that makes you begin to question your own sanity. This can be used to break down your boundaries and make you believe that you are powerless to leave. Have you ever had evidence of your partner’s wrongdoings and no matter what you say they have an explanation? This is a form of gaslighting. Their actions are never wrong and they will take zero accountability while making you feel that you are the one at fault. You begin to see reality through their eyes and can no longer discern what’s real. This is toxic for your well-being and indicates an unhealthy relationship. Insecurity and Accusation Insecure individuals sometimes desire to drag others down to their level. In romantic relationships, insecurity can be exhibited through jealousy and accusations of infidelity. Maybe this happens occasionally, and it is squared away, but if this is a consistent fight, your partner’s insecurities could become toxic. Other times insecurity can be exhibited by making fun of others or pointing out negative qualities. Maybe a certain friendship comes to mind when thinking about this scenario. Or maybe your parents have their own struggles and cannot stand to see you do better in life so they begin to sabotage your success. It sounds crazy, right? Yet, it happens more often than you may think. Next Steps Relationships are all complex and unique. No two situations are the same, and sometimes it takes an objective view to guide you through toxic relationships. Not sure whether you want to continue in a relationship or curious if there is a way to lessen its toxicity? New Vision Counseling and Consulting can provide you with the guidance and information you need to make a decision that benefits your future and well-being in all of your relationships. We provide a judgment-free zone where our clients feel free to be their true selves. We want you to feel accepted and comfortable as you journey to transformation and restoration. Call our client care line today to learn about our counseling process and get matched with a therapist that accommodates your needs and lifestyle. We can be reached by calling (405) 921-1776. We can’t wait to hear your story!
Depression is a debilitating and isolating illness for many people. If you have experienced depression, you know how lonely and discouraging it can be. Maybe you feel like you are trapped in a dark room with no way to escape. Or you feel like you are screaming for help, but others are unable to see that you’re struggling. Though you feel alone, millions of people share your experiences and feelings. This does not diminish your pain but may help you see that there is light at the end of your depression tunnel, you just have to be willing to get there. Therapy can teach you effective ways to express your pain and develop healthy coping mechanisms for your depression. Below are several forms of therapy that are commonly used to treat depression and other mental illnesses. Cognitive Behavior Therapy Your thought life dictates your perspective of yourself and the world around you. If you suffer from depression, you have likely thought things such as, “I’m worthless,” or “My life is not worth living.” These thinking patterns trap you in a cycle of depression and helplessness. Negative thoughts lead to negative emotions, which further fuel negative thoughts. Without effective treatment, this cycle can be hard to break. Unhealthy thoughts destroy your mental health and also wreak havoc on all areas of your functioning. Depressed people are unable to experience pleasure, have diminished interest in activities that used to bring them joy, and are unmotivated to change because they don’t have the energy required to do so. If you have repeatedly told yourself the story that depression has imprinted on your mind, you may begin to believe that you are hopeless and helpless, and this will reflect in your behaviors. CBT is effective because it targets and transforms your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. This is why it is essential to seek professional help so that you have the guidance you need to find the light at the end of your tunnel. Existential Therapy Existential therapy stems from a branch of philosophy known as existentialism. Existentialism focuses on the fundamental questions and concerns of human nature such as meaning, purpose, and mortality. This form of therapy can be helpful in counteracting the negative effects of depression by examining your disconnection from meaningful relationships, life experiences, and authenticity. A therapist specializing in this form of therapy will likely help you examine your attitude, beliefs, and assumptions about your life and relationships to help you gain a better understanding of your values and priorities. Depression can manifest from chronic disappointment, unmet expectations, or by living a life that does not feel authentic to your true self. By targeting these facades and helping you uncover the real you, you are able to live a life that has meaning. Though hard to accept for some, we all have an inherent responsibility to make choices, derive meaning, and live according to our values. Anything less leaves an opening for mental distress, illness, and low self-esteem that can show up in your life as depression. Psychodynamic Therapy Depression is not always grounded in present circumstances. Depression can be manifested through past experiences, or from all stages of your life, especially childhood. Maybe you experienced trauma or emotional abuse at a young age and these experiences have become the dominant voice in your mind. This negative voice has the power to dictate every aspect of your life and being. Some emotional conflicts are conscious, but this therapeutic approach targets unconscious thoughts, motivations, and emotions that affect your behavior without you being aware. When we go through difficult experiences during formative years, our psyche employs defense mechanisms that prevent the mind from enduring psychological or emotional pain, which manifests as maladaptive behaviors and thought patterns in adulthood. There is also evidence that your psyche will repress harmful memories and emotions from the past to protect you from them. When these aspects remain buried deep in your mind, you react and perceive the world through a damaged lens whose purpose is to keep you safe and oblivious to the things your mind is not ready to accept. By seeking this type of therapy, you can uncover past and unconscious material that may be contributing to your depression and help you gain some relief. Next Steps Depression affects everyone differently so it is important to move forward with treatment options that best fit your lifestyle and values. By seeking mental health counseling, you are taking the first step toward living a life that feels genuine and meaningful. Your therapist will help you examine all areas of your life and functioning so that you can begin to design an existence that has purpose and aligns with your priorities. We all see the world through a different lens and this lens is ever-evolving, so it is essential to match with a therapist who you can connect with. Depression keeps you trapped and afraid, but it doesn’t have to. New Vision Counseling and Consulting can guide you in your journey of healing and discovery. We want to see you become your best self and this cannot be accomplished with a mental illness weighing you down. Curious about our counseling process and values? Call our client care line today to become familiar with our therapeutic approach and get scheduled with a therapist that fits your needs. We can be reached by calling (405) 921-7776 Reach out today to discover the New Vision difference.

How Counseling Can Help with Trauma

Posted on July 10, 2023
There is nothing more isolating or painful than the experience of trauma. It leaves you feeling like the control over your life has been yanked from your grasp, leaving you to wonder how you can possibly regain what you feel has been taken from you. A common feeling associated with trauma is shame. Shame can leave you wondering if this was somehow your fault and if you brought this upon yourself or a loved one. This shame can deceive you into believing that you need to hold this experience tightly and not whisper a word of it to anyone. It leaves your mind swirling with doubt of whether you’ll ever trust, be happy, move forward, or feel safe again. Choosing to heal trauma requires incredible courage, and the first step is asking for help. While it often seems hopeless, trauma can be treated and overcome so that you no longer live out of fear. And one day, you can see the sun rising again and begin to feel progressively whole. At New Vision Counseling and Consulting, our therapists will help you regain control of your life by using practical tools. We will walk with you through the deepest valleys of your trauma and help you navigate the triggers of your fear and grief in a caring environment. We will encourage you to overcome, but not judge you when you stumble. You will not be alone as we embark on your journey into dealing with the effects of your life’s most difficult events. Be assured that you don’t have to continue suffering alone. Click here to set up your first appointment with one of our experienced and empathetic therapists. Have questions or need encouragement? We’re here for you! Our therapists genuinely care about helping you overcome your mental health concerns and will give you the tools you need to process your trauma and reduce its effect on your life. We understand that everyone has their unique journey, which is why we’ll work with you at your pace, providing guidance and support every step of the way. Our therapists create personalized treatment plans and utilize powerful techniques to help you gain control of your life and find your inner strength. Along your path to healing, we’ll equip you with effective coping skills to help you overcome your fears and manage your triggers. Let us help you build a better tomorrow filled with empowerment and resilience. Ready to begin your New Vision journey? Call us today at (405) 921-1776 . We can’t wait to hear from you!
Entering into a marriage is an exciting and joyous time, but it can also be filled with uncertainty and apprehension. As you and your partner embark on this journey together, it is important to lay a solid foundation for a strong and healthy relationship. One valuable tool that can assist in this process is premarital counseling. At New Vision Counseling and Consulting in Oklahoma City, we believe that premarital counseling is an essential investment in your future, and we are here to guide you through this transformative experience.

What are the 7 Types of Boundaries?

Posted on May 2, 2023
Boundaries are limits that we set for ourselves and for others to ensure that everyone respects our needs, feelings, and privacy. There are several types of boundaries that you can begin forming so you show up as your best self in all areas of your life. Some of the most essential boundaries to practice are relational. Relationships are the core of our being and boundaries help us to create prosperous and respectful interactions. It is necessary to communicate your boundaries to coworkers, friends, family, and your partner. It is important to establish and maintain healthy boundaries to protect your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Below are the 7 types of boundaries and tips for how to enforce them. Physical Boundaries Physical boundaries outline the personal space that we create around ourselves to feel safe and comfortable. They also include things that your body needs at the moment such as sufficient rest and how much you need to eat and drink to be healthy and satisfied. This varies from person to person, but it is necessary to communicate these clearly to the ones who are closest to you and to enforce them so you remain within your limits. You will know when someone invades your space because it will make you feel uncomfortable. If someone continuously violates your boundaries even after clear communication, it may be beneficial to distance yourself from that person. Emotional Boundaries Emotional boundaries are limits that we set for ourselves to protect our feelings, emotions, and moods. These boundaries are vital to have for emotional well-being and self-esteem. Do not over-share personal details too soon and be cognizant of who you are letting into your mind and heart. I often hear others say, “You made me feel __.” However, this is not a valid statement. When you have healthy emotional boundaries, you can separate your feelings from others and allow yourself to step away from an unhealthy situation. Common signs of emotional boundary violations are discomfort, resentment, and anxiety. These are strong indicators that you may be letting others influence your decisions and feelings. Mental Boundaries Mental boundaries are what protect your thoughts and beliefs. People pleasers often struggle in this area because they are afraid to go against the crowd or stand out in a negative way for their beliefs. Stand up for what you believe in and do not let others influence you into believing something that you feel uncomfortable with. Mental boundaries not only apply to your relationship with others but also to yourself. Negative self-talk and unhealthy thought patterns can drastically reduce your ability to be grateful and satisfied. It also prevents you from loving yourself. Self-love and esteem are what guide you in life and also teach others how to treat you. If you disrespect yourself, how can you expect others to treat you with value? Material Boundaries Material boundaries are associated with your belongings and resources. This helps you determine what belongs to you and what belongs to others. For example, most people have a fence around their property line. This communicates to others that your yard and space are off-limits unless they have permission to enter. This gives you the ability to protect your space, home, and energy. Material boundaries are violated when others use your things without asking, steal, or return borrowed items damaged. Spiritual Boundaries Spiritual boundaries give you the ability to hold your own beliefs and religious views despite what others believe or feel. This may be saying a prayer before each meal, or refusing to engage in arguments about differing religious views. Unfortunately, some even attend church without their spouse, which is hard to do, but necessary if there is no reconciliation about spiritual beliefs or practices. Time Management The most valuable and limited thing that you have in life is time. This is why it is essential to make your time worthwhile. Most successful people are aware of this and know that time is not a renewable resource. Consequently, structured schedules and routines give you the ability to choose what you spend your time on and provide a framework for using time in effective ways. Time management is a basic life skill that allows you to be productive and intentional. Setting good boundaries for yourself involves getting work done before play, and not saying yes to helping others when you have your own obligations. This is another area that people pleasers struggle with and can leave you feeling drained and exhausted. A good way to practice enforcing this boundary is to plan out each day, and to utilize the word “NO.” Sometimes saying “yes” to others means saying “no” to ourselves. Non-Negotiable Boundaries These types of boundaries are often referred to as deal breakers. These are lines that you draw and refuse to break. These may pertain to safety, protection, values, or beliefs. It is important to analyze which boundaries fall into this category because having too many non-negotiables makes it hard to live a happy life. Flexibility and adaptation are vital characteristics to practice if you want to be successful and prosperous. It is important to set expectations upfront so others are aware of what is personally unacceptable to you. For example, when starting a new relationship, you may have certain values that must be upheld such as fidelity and honesty. We are human and humans make mistakes, but repeatedly disrespecting the limits of others becomes a choice rather than an accident or misunderstanding. Next Steps Boundaries can be difficult to form and maintain, especially if you were never taught how. Your lack of healthy boundaries may stem from the way you were raised or can be a personality characteristic that makes you feel bad for saying no to others. If you want to create a fulfilling life and have rich relationships, healthy boundaries are a must. New Vision Counseling and Consulting can provide you with the framework to assist you in forming appropriate boundaries that coincide with your lifestyle and values. Boundaries not only teach others how to treat us but also provide guidelines for self-care. If you are ready to begin transforming your life then the natural next step is to reach out today and we will walk with you to create healthier boundaries and amazing relationships with yourself and others. All that is left now is to call us at (405) 921-7776

Why Do I Struggle With Boundaries?

Posted on May 2, 2023
“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” – Brene Brown Boundaries are difficult to navigate especially if you have never been taught how to establish and maintain them. Some people are naturally able to set boundaries, but others need guidance and support. You likely struggle with boundaries if you are a people pleaser or have a sensitive and overly caring nature. This temperament motivates you to ensure others are happy but may cause you to neglect your own well-being. In order to design a life that promotes an ultimate sense of fulfillment and balance, healthy boundaries have to be formed. Boundaries not only teach others how to respect your limits but also provide guidelines to help you navigate life and practice self-care. Below are some common experiences that lead to habitually ineffective boundary formation. Childhood The environment that you grow up in during your formative years dictates the rules and expectations that you place on yourself and others around you in adulthood. Parenting styles and relationship quality also have a huge impact on how you set boundaries. If you grew up with controlling parents, you likely have rigid boundaries and consistently seek unattainable perfection from both yourself and those around you. This leads you to consistently disrespect the opinions of others to make yourself feel satisfied or make others feel that they always fall short. If you had parents who unloaded their emotional wounds and negative feelings on your vulnerable and developing brain, you may feel like it is your responsibility to make sure others are okay, despite the discomfort you feel. Kids are not meant nor able to bear the burdens of adulthood. Being forced to do so prevents you from developing properly and can handicap you relationally until you learn how to form healthy habits. Siblings Believe it or not, birth order does affect your personality formation. Maybe you were the baby of your family, so you got whatever you wanted. This leads to overstepping and expecting others to make you happy despite the personal consequences to them. Maybe you were the oldest of your siblings and your parents required you to care for your younger brothers or sisters. If so, you are likely the guardian of others and aim to protect them without caring if you are taken care of as well. Middle children are notorious for having relational struggles and identity crises. You grow up knowing that you are not the youngest, so you don’t get spoiled, and you’re not the oldest, so you don’t get the respect you desire. This can leave you in a state of mediocrity and not knowing what you want in life. Maybe you were an only child and all of your frequent interactions were with adults. This can cause you to be socially awkward and not understand how to communicate or seek emotional engagement with others your age, causing you to build impenetrable walls that others struggle to get through. People Pleasing and Conflict Avoidance Conflict is uncomfortable for some and they will do anything necessary to avoid it. This causes you to submit to the will of others even if it goes against your convictions. Those who are prone to engage in people-pleasing behaviors will do whatever it takes to keep the peace. This attribute stems from certain personality characteristics and unhealthy communication skills. If you struggle to express your feelings or thoughts due to the fear of what others may think, you are not alone. It is important to know that sometimes the truth hurts, but others need to hear it regardless. Find your voice and have the courage to use it. Those who have an issue with this do not belong in your life. Trauma If you experienced childhood trauma or abuse, you likely believe that you do not deserve to matter or have feelings. You may perceive that the formation of boundaries means you will be unloved or rejected, so you let others treat you badly to avoid being alone. Some people seek what they lacked during childhood and they neglect to form healthy boundaries to protect themselves. Did you grow up missing one parent, or were you abandoned? This leads to maladaptive behaviors in adulthood characterized by subconsciously, or consciously, finding relationships that mirror what you missed as a kid, even if they are harmful. This can cause you to seek unhealthy relationships as an adult or accept a false idea of love. Some believe they are not worthy of love or feel that they have to compromise themselves in order for others to stick around. This type of relational deficit is characterized by not standing up for yourself, your beliefs, or your values. You feel that going with the crowd is easier and this encourages you to be less of yourself. After all, it’s better to have unhealthy attachments, than be alone, right? Narcissistic Abuse Being married to a covert narcissist or experiencing an abusive romantic relationship damages your self-esteem and influences you to believe you are not worthy of setting limits. You begin to disregard yourself and your needs. You may begin to distort your reality and focus all your energy on making your partner happy because then at least you are seen as a worthy individual. Emotional and mental abuse causes your brain to form unhealthy neural networks that lead you to accept harmful treatment. It starts in small doses and escalates to a point in which you can no longer tell the difference between their feelings and perceptions and your own. You may bend over backward to make others happy but feel resentful when you get overwhelmed or feel like nothing is ever good enough. Next Steps Boundaries are an essential part of life but can be difficult to enforce. Maybe you don’t want to hurt others, or you feel guilty when you say no. This is a common response, but not a healthy one. Boundaries protect you and ensure that others are not able to push you past your limits. Sounds simple enough, right? In my professional experience, a majority of people struggle severely with setting healthy boundaries. At New Vision Counseling and Consulting we can help you establish and maintain healthy boundaries. We can guide you to discovering your true self and then help you create healthy boundaries and habits that can lead you to a life of success and balance. Ready to take the next step toward your journey of healing? If yes then we are here for you at (405) 921-7776
The term “gaslighting” has been circulating as a psychological term for a while. The attention that this term has received has helped people in identifying and naming specific dysfunctions that are occurring in their relationships, and it has empowered many to stand firm in their individual truths. Despite being aware of the phrase and comprehending what it means, many people still find it challenging to manage situations when they are the ones being gaslit. So let’s discuss how to avoid gaslighting and maintain your integrity: 1. Be able to spot gaslighting when it occurs. Typical gaslighting expressions: “You’re making up stuff,” “That never happened.” “You’re being over the top.” “You’re exaggerating the situation.” When someone is gaslit on a regular basis, they begin to exhibit symptoms of poor self-esteem and emotional dependency on the abuser. You could feel a variety of feelings during a disagreement with someone who is gaslighting you, including confusion, anger, and frustration. You might also find yourself arguing aloud and in your head. This constant back and forth is draining and might undermine your confidence. You can begin to end the loop once you can accurately identify gaslighting when it occurs in the present. 2. Remain firm in the truth. Gaslighting aims to cause the recipient to question their own reality. The person who is gaslighting you can be attempting to dodge responsibility while progressively creating emotional dependence within you. This leads to a great deal of internal confusion, which diminishes your confidence in your memories and self. Hold strong to your truth and own your perspective! Don’t allow them to tell you how you feel. It sounds like saying “I know what I saw.” 3. Put things in writing. It can be beneficial to write things out as they happen to help you ground yourself in the truth. Write in a journal about your experiences, and make it a practice to read back over some of your entries daily. A journal is a fantastic tool for keeping track of events throughout time. This will increase your confidence in what you already know to be true. 4. Keep the discussion brief. When you start the conversation, be aware of your objectives. What do you hope to achieve? Resolve? What are the things you want to make clear? Someone who is gaslighting will lie openly, change the story, and downplay how you feel. Knowing your purpose before you start the conversation will prevent you from becoming sidetracked in any of the ways that a gaslighter might take you. 5. Be prepared to end the conversation. Additionally, the gaslighter may devise strategies like minimizing and deflection. Practice self-validation in these situations, and pay attention to when the conversation becomes unfair and repetitive. When you begin to notice that your reality is being dismissed, give yourself permission to exit the conversation. To keep your perception of events, move away before the gaslighting becomes severe. Keep in mind that the gaslighter’s purpose is to make you doubt your reality. 6. Resist the urge to try and “outsmart” the gaslighter. Disengaging is the best course of action when facing a gaslighter. A gaslighting person will still find a way to deflect, minimize, or dismiss even if you come prepared with a ton of proof, including photos, videos, and more. It is essential to walk away with your unaltered reality. 7. Lean on your circle of supporters and tell the truth. If the person gaslighting you has narcissistic personality disorder, they may want to isolate you psychologically and make you emotionally dependent. We further absorb our truth when we communicate with our support system about our reality, what is happening, what we know, and what we have seen, witnessed, and experienced. Final Thoughts When someone is gaslighting you, it can be incredibly disorienting to talk to them. They make every effort to throw you off balance and shift the issue at hand so that you are now being blamed for “blowing things out of proportion, misunderstanding, being selfish..” when you are just sharing your feelings and making an effort to solve the problem. It’s perfectly acceptable and often necessary to leave the conversation. You may find great help to stand in the truth by leaning on your support system and reading books and listening to podcasts on the issues you are facing with a gaslighter daily. Finally, learn to give yourself grace for what you are going through in the relationship and choose and get the help you need so you can live in reality and make healthy decisions for your future. If you have found this to be helpful but need someone who can who cares and is specifically trained to help then there is hope. New Vision Counseling is here for you. We are a team of highly trained therapists who care and will meet you where you are and help you heal and move forward. We will be in your corner supporting and connecting you to the healing and freedom you long for. The next natural step can be to reach out by calling (405) 921-7776
Anxiety and worry are two emotions that people experience regularly. They can be overwhelming and difficult to control, causing many maladaptive responses. Therefore, it is essential to understand the difference between the two. Worry is a common occurrence that everyone engages in from time to time. It is a natural response to a situation that causes concern or uncertainty. Worry tends to be focused on a specific event or situation, and can often be alleviated by finding a solution or taking action. On the other hand, anxiety is a more intense and persistent feeling accompanied by physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, and increased heart rate. Anxiety tends to be broader and more generalized than worry and can be triggered by a variety of internal and external factors. We will briefly explore the various anxiety disorders and common therapeutic techniques that can be utilized to manage anxiety symptoms. Types of Anxiety Disorders Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD): GAD is a widespread anxiety disorder that affects a large portion of the population. You may have GAD if you experience feelings of anxiety about everyday activities, rather than one specific event. Anxious feelings may stem from work, family, finances, social issues, or a combination of these. Common physical side effects can include headaches, fatigue, stomach upset, difficulty sleeping, sustained hyperarousal of your nervous system, and muscle tension. Panic Disorder: Panic disorder frequently manifests as sudden and unexpected panic attacks, sometimes with no obvious causation. These intense periods of severe fear and uneasiness can last several minutes and cause debilitating symptoms such as shortness of breath, dizziness, increased heart rate, chest pains, nausea, and tunnel vision. Panic disorder symptoms are exacerbated by an intense fear of when the next unexpected attack will happen which can trap you in a fear cycle that habituates constantly. This cycle may further develop into agoraphobia which is a debilitating phobia that often prevents individuals from leaving their homes. Social Anxiety Disorder: Can also be referred to as social phobia and is characterized by extreme fear concerning social situations. This fear may stem from past experiences of embarrassment, judgment, or conflict. If you suffer from this disorder, you likely avoid social events, public speaking, and group activities. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD): OCD is an anxiety disorder characterized by unwanted thoughts and repetitive behaviors or compulsions. People often feel that they have no control over their thoughts and are powerless to control the irrational behaviors that stem from these thoughts. Common obsessions are handwashing, persistent counting, or completing tasks in a specific order with a certain amount of repetition. However, there is a vast array of obsessions and compulsions that affect each person differently. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): PTSD usually develops after witnessing or experiencing a traumatic event. This could include an accident causing severe bodily or psychological injury, a physical attack, sexual abuse, a natural disaster, or the sudden loss of a loved one. People with PTSD suffer from recurrent thoughts or dreams about the event and they may avoid situations or people that remind them of their trauma. Specific Phobias: Phobias are excessive, and often irrational fears, of specific things or situations. Some common forms of phobias pertain to heights, small spaces, crowds, spiders, and snakes. However, phobias affect each person differently. Therapy for Anxiety Disorders Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT is the most common approach utilized in the therapeutic environment to counteract the negative effects of anxiety disorders. This modality focuses on identifying and challenging negative thought patterns contributing to anxiety. Your therapist will likely help you pinpoint the triggers that activate your anxiety which may include specific situations, stressful environments, or negative thoughts and emotions associated with a person or experience. You can then work together to develop strategies and coping mechanisms for managing your triggers such as relaxation techniques, deep breathing, and positive affirmations. Exposure Therapy: Exposure therapy begins by exposing you to your fears or phobias in small, systematic increments to desensitize your psyche. Guided by your therapist, you will slowly build tolerance toward your anxiety and learn to manage the intensity of your symptoms. Mindfulness-Based Therapy: Becoming mindful of your thoughts and emotions is an important step towards coping with your chronic anxiety symptoms. Mindfulness involves learning to focus on the present moment and accepting your thoughts and emotions without judgment. This is a particularly powerful technique for individuals who ruminate on negative thoughts or experience overwhelming fears associated with the future. Another common strategy utilized in mindfulness is referred to as “grounding.” This involves stimulating one of your five senses or finding tangible things in your immediate environment. This may look like splashing cold water on your face, taking a walk, or picking out five blue things that you can see at the current moment. Next Steps Worry is common and mostly manageable, but anxiety can be debilitating. Whether you have a specific anxiety disorder or still need help deciding, it is wise to seek professional help. New Vision Counseling and Consulting specializes in mental health counseling and can help you connect with a therapist that has your specific needs in mind. We are blessed to have a team of therapists who are highly trained and skilled in a broad range of therapeutic techniques and strategies. Seeking help can be intimidating, but we are here to help guide you through the process. We provide a non-judgmental environment that comforts our clients when they need it most. We want you to feel safe and empowered as you tackle your mental health obstacles so that you can live a life free from the confines of anxiety and other debilitating issues. If you are ready to make changes that transform then we are here for you. The next step is to contact us at (405) 921-7776
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8). As a Christian, marriage is considered a sacred bond between two individuals binding them together in love, trust, and respect with their foundation being God. However, the reality is that every relationship goes through its ups and downs, and sometimes, seeking professional guidance from a marriage counselor may become necessary. But what can a Christian expect in marriage counseling? Shared Values Finding a marriage counselor who shares Christian values and beliefs is essential before you begin healing your marriage. A Christian marriage counselor is well-equipped to understand the unique challenges that Christian couples may face. They provide a safe and non-judgmental environment where you and your partner can express your concerns and explore issues that negatively affect your relationship. In addition, a faith-based counseling experience can help tie in Biblical truths and guidance during sessions to help you and your spouse grow closer to God. Honest Communication Your counselor will encourage honest communication to help you understand each other’s perspectives and provide conflict-resolution skills for unresolvable discrepancies. In addition, they will focus on strengthening the spiritual aspect of your marriage, allowing you both to place your faith and trust in God. When relationships get rocky, it is easy to focus on what’s wrong instead of pausing to invite the Lord into your struggles. Yet, seeking healing through the Lord is the best thing you could do for your marriage. Forgiveness Christian marriage counseling emphasizes the importance of forgiveness, repentance, and the healing power of God’s love. Your counselor may encourage you to seek forgiveness from each other and God to let go of past hurts and resentments in your marriage. Counselors also guide you and your spouse in rebuilding trust and developing a deeper level of intimacy in your relationship. Accountability and prayer are great ways to begin healing and rebuilding trust. God-Centered Sessions You can expect guidance centered around God’s love and grace if you seek faith-based counseling. The counselor may focus on helping you both develop a closer relationship with God. Through prayer, scripture, and the use of therapeutic modalities, you will be equipped to face challenges that life throws your way. God knows we live in a fallen world of sin and is there to guide us through human desires and lay the foundation for a marriage centered around faith and grace. Godly Roles and Faith The Bible depicts God’s view of marriage and the roles that we are each meant to take. Husbands are responsible for leading their wives in faith, and women guide and support their husbands through prayer and nurturance. These gender roles are not as popular in today’s culture but still greatly influence the health of your marriage. However, I want to remind you that we must not conform to the ways of this world but hold fast to Godly wisdom and principles. A Christian counselor can help you reestablish faith and restoration in your relationship with your spouse, God and others. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect (Romans 12:2 ESV). Next Steps It is important to remember that Christian marriage counseling is not a one-size-fits-all approach. Each couple’s situation is unique, and each counselor will tailor their approach to suit your and your spouse’s needs. Nevertheless, you can repair your marriage and build a lasting relationship. Should you find this message inspiring but need further guidance to heal your marriage, New Vision Counseling and Consulting could be your answer. We combine Biblical principles with cutting edge counseling techniques to help you grow closer in your marriage and your relationship with the Lord. We have therapists from all walks of life to meet you where you are and guide you to restoration. Though we thrive on a faith-based approach, we want to offer services that make you feel comfortable despite your spirituality or religious views. Our highly trained therapists are well-versed in all mental health and relationship areas. We can’t wait to hear your story and help you design the marriage of your dreams! You can reach our team by calling (405) 921-7776

How does Therapy help Anxiety?

Posted on May 2, 2023
Therapy can be an effective treatment for anxiety because it provides individuals with tools and strategies to better manage their symptoms and address underlying issues. Here are some ways therapy can help: Provides a safe and supportive space: Therapy provides a non-judgmental, safe and supportive environment where you can freely express their feelings and experiences without fear of criticism or rejection. This can help you feel more comfortable and confident in exploring your anxiety and its underlying causes. Helps identify and challenge negative thoughts: Therapy can help you identify negative thoughts and beliefs that contribute to anxiety, and then challenge and replace them with more positive and realistic ones. This can help reduce the intensity and frequency of anxious thoughts and feelings. Teaches coping skills: Therapy can teach you coping skills such as relaxation techniques, mindfulness, and breathing exercises. These tools can be used in the moment when anxiety arises, helping to reduce the physical and emotional symptoms of anxiety. Addresses underlying issues: Therapy can help you explore and address underlying issues, such as past traumas, relationship difficulties, or unresolved emotions. By addressing these issues, therapy can help you develop a deeper understanding of your anxiety and how to overcome it. Provides a sense of control: Anxiety can feel like you are out of control. Therapy can help you gain a sense of control over their anxiety by providing you with tools to manage your symptoms, and by helping you feel confident and empowered. Overall, therapy can be a valuable tool for anyone struggling with anxiety. By providing a safe and supportive space, teaching coping skills, and addressing underlying issues, therapy can help you better manage their anxiety and improve your quality of life. If you have found this to be helpful but still feel you need more, then there is hope. New Vision Counseling is here to help you. We are a team of highly trained therapists who care and will meet you where you are and help you heal and move forward. Receive ongoing care from hand-selected providers who are experts in treating anxiety. We start by making your therapy sessions safe and nonjudgmental. We walk with you and give you the encouragement and resources to heal and start living again. We will be in your corner supporting and connecting you to the healing and freedom you long for. The next natural step can be to reach out by calling (405) 921-7776.
Depression can trap you in an endless void of sadness, apathy, and despair. It can make simple tasks like getting out of bed seem insurmountably difficult. You may think things like, “Is life really worth living?” or “The future is hopeless anyway, so what’s the point?” If so, you are not alone. Depression affects millions of people worldwide and is one of the most common forms of mental illness. It causes loss of joy, diminished interest, changes in appetite/sleeping patterns, and negatively affects valued relationships. Suicidal thoughts and ideations are also commonly experienced in depressed individuals. Depression often correlates with other co-occurring conditions such as anxiety, which makes it vital to get a professional assessment and diagnosis regarding your specific set of symptoms and needs. Reaching out for professional help is one of the most important decisions you can make. Counselors specialize in dealing with mental health conditions and can provide the guidance, support you need, and equip you with the tools necessary to work through your depression. Providing a Safe Space During counseling sessions, the therapy office is a safe space for you to disclose your emotions and experiences. Thoughts can become dark when stuck in the confines of depression, and counselors are aware of this daily battle. You do not have to soften your rough edges or act like you are okay. The therapeutic environment is a judgment-free zone where you can feel comfortable being yourself. Counselors are there to support you and encourage you through your depression journey. The relationship between counselor and client is characterized by unconditional acceptance and empathy, so you can feel at ease with all aspects of your depression and mental struggles. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it is worth investing your time. Relaxation Techniques Stress and anxiety can exacerbate the symptoms experienced with depression, so one aspect that counselors focus on in treatment is teaching techniques to help you unwind and relax. These techniques can include meditation, deep breathing, mindfulness, and muscle relaxation. I always remind people that it is important to pause. Take a deep breath, look at the big picture, and realize that you are in control of you. Repeating affirmations in your head or imagining yourself in a place of serenity also helps. Go to a place in your mind where you feel happy and free. My imagined safe place is on a deserted beach where all I hear are the waves crashing against the shore and all I see is a bright blue sky and white sand. Give yourself permission to be creative and discover which techniques work best for your emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. Reframing Thoughts Counselors help people reframe negative thoughts that may be perpetuating depression. One way this is accomplished is through cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques which focus on identifying and modifying negative self-talk and distorted thought patterns. This is a great way to improve both your mood and your self-esteem. Depressive thoughts can make you feel like you are trapped under a gray cloud of doom and darkness. By evaluating your thought life and removing the negativity that is exacerbating your depression, you are free to adopt a new and healthy mindset. During this course of therapy, it is also helpful to keep tabs on your thoughts and write them down so that you can pinpoint where they are originating from and what triggers them. Next Steps Depression can cause you to isolate yourself, but it is vital to seek guidance and support in your healing. At New Vision Counseling and Consulting, we are here to lead you through this process. We want to provide you with the support and encouragement that you need to become healthy again. We specialize in helping people from all walks of life and want you to feel valued at our practice. We have therapists who specialize in depression and they are ready to lead you through the darkness into your next season filled with more light and life. You do not have to battle your depression alone. If you are ready to design a personalized road map to life and vitality, call us at (405) 921-7776

How do I Improve my Boundaries?

Posted on May 2, 2023
Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is essential for leading a fulfilling life. Personal boundaries exist to protect your physical, emotional, and mental well-being and encourage healthy relationships. When you clarify your boundaries, you open yourself up to the opportunity to nurture more satisfying relationships, manage your time and energy more effectively, and reduce your stress levels. Establishing boundaries is not easy, especially if you have a tendency to people-please. If you often say “yes” out of guilt or because you are afraid to upset others, then you know it is time to examine your boundaries. Below are some helpful tips to assist you in forming healthy boundaries in your life. Identify Your Boundaries To begin, identify your values, feelings, and priorities. Consider what is important to you and how you want to protect it. A good way to begin this process is to reflect on your emotional state and identify what emotional triggers you experience in different situations. Once you clarify what values and emotions drive you, you will have a better idea of what boundaries to set. Beginning this process can be difficult, but one thing to remember is that if people are becoming upset by your new boundaries, you are heading in the right direction. Everyone should not have an infinite amount of access to your time, energy, and emotions, but reclaiming your life can cause others to become confused. This confusion can be diminished by having a healthy conversation about why and how you are reshaping your life. By setting proper boundaries you can increase your time management skills and create a safe space to recharge your emotional batteries. Communicate Take responsibility for communicating your boundaries. To ensure that you are getting your point across, it is important to be firm, but also remember to be respectful. It is helpful to use “I” statements to explain how you are feeling without being confrontational. For example, you could say something like “When you talk to me in that tone of voice, I feel hurt and devalued.” This gives you the opportunity to explain how you feel without being accusatory or putting the blame on others. Your feelings are real and need to be validated. If someone in your life is not okay with this or tends to dismiss your feelings, it may be time to distance yourself and consider their role in your life. Be Consistent Enforcing boundaries can be difficult, especially if you have never set limits with others. Be consistent with your boundaries despite attempts to override them. If someone repeatedly ignores your boundaries, speak up. It is helpful to remind them of your limits, but be prepared to walk away if necessary. Boundaries are a sign of respect and demonstrate you value the other person. Anyone who refuses to accept them may not have a spot in your future life. The life where you choose to be the best, most loving version of yourself. A good way to begin this process is to simply say “no” when you feel the need to do so. Having a set plan in place so that you can proactively respond, instead of react in the moment, can prevent you from sinking back into your old habits. Care for Yourself Self-care is so important if you desire to be a healthy and whole individual. This means caring for your emotional, mental, and physical self in a compassionate way. To practice emotional boundaries, consistently reflect on how you are feeling and take note when you notice a dip in your energy or mood. Doing so provides a road map for your limits and shows you where to draw the line in the future. To mentally care for your well-being, set limits on interactions with negative people and do not ruminate on negative subjects. Establishing healthy physical boundaries can include eating healthy foods and limiting sugar, or going to bed at the same time each night. This provides your body with stability and ensures you have the energy to get the things done that matter most to you. Next Steps Starting a new habit can seem intimidating but can be accomplished with the right help. We hope these guidelines encourage you to set healthy limits in your life. Should you have further questions about boundaries or need assistance in designing a life that inspires you, our therapists at New Vision Counseling and Consulting are here for you. We thrive on providing an understanding and compassionate space for you to share your story and get the help you need. Obtaining an empathetic and objective view of the obstacles that hold you back can be life-changing. Are you ready to begin your journey to a healthier you? Call today at (405) 921-7776

How to Process Trauma on Your own

Posted on May 2, 2023
Trauma can be a challenging experience to overcome and can have lasting effects on your overall functioning and well-being. After experiencing trauma, you may struggle to find yourself again or become completely overwhelmed by the emotional wreckage that trauma has caused in your life. It is important to gain support by speaking with friends, loved ones, or a professional therapist if your trauma feels too intense to process alone. Below are some helpful tips to help you reduce the negative effects of trauma on your own until you are ready to take the next step to get help from others. Define What You Want to be Different This is a great first step because it helps you identify what is wrong and hurting along with setting goals of what you want to see in you and your life in the future. When you are suffering from trauma, this task can seem almost impossible to do by yourself. However, if you are able to do this you can find tremendous benefits. If you are not then you may find yourself in the almost impossible position of trying to hit a target when you don’t know where it is or what it looks like. Identify Your Triggers Another step in processing trauma is to identify your triggers. An example of a trigger is a sound, smell, environment, or any other outside stimuli that wreaks havoc on your nervous system and takes you back to a traumatic place. Triggers elicit intense emotional reactions and can be difficult to cope with. Maybe a certain person causes your mind to go back to a horrible accident, or you hear a song that completely enmeshes your senses with fear and dread because it reminds you of your traumatic experience. Triggers are unique to everyone, so the way you choose to cope with yours is a personal decision. Once you have identified your triggers, you can begin to learn healthy coping skills and set plans for times when you are experiencing severe emotional distress. Engage in Physical Activities Exercise helps to reduce stress levels and activates the release of endorphins in the body, which improve mood and overall functioning. Regular physical activity such as walking, jogging, or yoga can help you relax and process negative emotions and thoughts. Just thirty minutes of exercise daily can markedly reduce your symptoms and help you create a healthier outlook for both your inner thought life and your outward perception of experiences. Things may seem hopeless, but getting fresh air or taking your dog on a walk are scientifically proven ways to boost your resiliency. Learn Relaxation Techniques Relaxation techniques can help reduce the amount of distress you experience when you are triggered by your trauma. This can be achieved by listening to relaxing music, practicing deep breathing exercises, meditating, or engaging in progressive muscle relaxation. Another great way to help you feel supported is to spend time with your pet. Knowing they are there to cuddle and accept you exactly as you are can be comforting and calming. When overwhelming thoughts and sensations take over your mind and body, remember that you are in control and you have the power to bring yourself back to reality. It can be scary and overwhelming, but over time, these techniques help reduce the intensity of your negative side effects. Practice Mindfulness Mindfulness exercises help you remain present and avoid negative thoughts about the past or future. Focusing on sensations such as your breathing pattern, the sound of your heartbeat, or feeling the wind on your skin can help focus and calm your mind. Traumatic triggers can transfer your body and mind back into a dangerous place, but you have the power to bring your mind back into a safe place. Initially, it can be difficult for your mind to focus, but you will eventually learn to control your thoughts and remain present in the moment rather than thinking of your past traumatic experiences. Educate Yourself Traumatic experiences not only change the way you process memories, emotions, and experiences but can also cause abnormal physiological effects on the mind, body, and soul. Brain scans of individuals who have experienced trauma show a remarkable difference in activity and chemistry in various regions of the brain. Understanding how serious trauma can be and how it affects your life is an important step to begin processing trauma on your own. Give yourself grace in these moments and realize that your trauma is a real thing that your body and mind have endured. Becoming educated in trauma aftermath can help you gain insight into why you are feeling the way you do. Reading books or articles that focus on healing can help prepare you for restoration. Next Steps If you find this message beneficial but realize you need professional help processing and working through your trauma, New Vision Counseling and Consulting is here to help guide you through your healing journey. Our compassionate and empathetic team of therapists is specifically trained to process trauma and will help you develop ways of coping and working through the pain that are right for you. We are here to provide a helping hand when you are hurting. We individualize treatment plans and goals based on your personal needs and lifestyle. We will provide the tools that are necessary for a healthy future full of healing and the ability to create a life with relationships that you want to be a part of. If you are ready to have someone who cares and is trained to help you then we are here for you and can be reached at (405) 921-7776


11209 N May Ave
Oklahoma City, OK 73120


Copyright © 2023 New Vision Counseling