What is Trauma Bonding

Have you ever experienced trauma bonding?  Are you in a toxic relationship and others are telling you to leave but you feel stuck or confused?  And when you try to leave you feel guilty or can’t stop thinking about getting back with them?  These are some of the common symptoms of trauma bonding.

Trauma bonding is a strong attachment between an abuser and an abused person. The reason this attachment is formed is a result of the cycle of violence. The cycle of violence is tension building, event, reconciliation, and calmness. The abuser can twist exhilaration, terror, sexual physiology, and sexual affection to confuse your perception of the situation or abuse.

It is important that you are aware of some of the signs of trauma bonding in order to get the help you need.

Signs of Trauma Bonding

  • You feel stuck in the relationship and can’t find a way out
  • When you try to leave you long for that person afterwards
  • You worry about doing something that will set your abuser off
  • You fear they’ll hurt themselves if you end the relationship
  • The people around you don’t support the relationship
  • You will get “punished” by your abuser for doing something wrong
  • You live confused and anxious about what to do

Why Does It Happen?

One reason that trauma bonding occurs is because you become addicted to the hormonal roller coaster that the abuse brings. You start getting used to the ups and downs and your brain starts to crave it. Even though the abuse is horrible at the moment; the reconciliation between you and your abuser makes you feel as though you are in love. This makes it very hard for you to leave and when you do leave your brain desires the back and forth, so you start to long for that person again.

Since others are unable to understand your situation it also makes you become very isolated from your friends and family. Your relationships with people start to look different and you will likely become isolated and feel alone.  This gives you another reason to cling to your abuser because they may feel like all you have left.

3 Ways to Move Forward

If after reading this you have found that you are currently experiencing a trauma bond with someone, there are ways to get out of it. You are NOT stuck in this relationship. You CAN create a better life for yourself.

Find a Therapist

One way to start moving forward is to find a therapist that will help you process the abuse you have been experiencing and help you find ways to heal. Therapy can also look like finding a support group that will help you see that you are not alone in this experience. In those groups you will realize you are not the only one suffering like this.  That there are other people that are struggling to break a trauma bond between their abuser.

Journal the Abuse

Start journaling about your abuse, your relationship, the grief that is occuring, how hard it is to let go,  or any emotion that you are experiencing at the moment.  Be specific about the event including times, dates, what they did.  This will help you feel more sane and become more equipped to battle thoughts and accusations that you are the problem and other lies.

Find Support

Look for people, churches and organizations that will support your decision to break free of the trauma bond.  You can do this with certain friends, some family members, pastors at church and therapists to name a few.  This is vital for you to break free and stay free.  This along with continued therapy can hold you accountable to break free and stay free!

If you found this helpful and want to move forward to heal and explore what your best next steps are then we are here for you.  At New Vision Counseling and Consulting we have a team of therapists trained to walk with you through the pain and help you heal and make sense of what to do next.  You can reach us at (405) 921-7776 or go to our website at NewVisionCounseilng.org to learn more about how we can best help you.

How to Take Power Over Your Negative Thoughts

Have you ever wondered; ”Does anyone else have these kinds of thoughts?”  Thoughts like “They didn’t call back so I must have done something wrong to upset them.”  Or, consider what thoughts you have when someone gives you a compliment?  Do you think something like; “They wouldn’t say I was a good mother if they saw how many times I yelled at my kids?”  If these sound familiar, they are just two examples of cognitive distortions.

Cognitive Distortions

Irrational or exaggerated thought patterns are often referred to as cognitive distortions. Cognitive distortions can be formed in ways such as trying to cope with difficult life events or when you are attempting to have increased control over your circumstances. These thoughts can be hurtful to your mental health as they may result in depression, anxiety, or elevated stress just to name a few.

Examples of Cognitive Distortions

  • All or nothing thinking- seeing situations with no middle ground
  • Overgeneralization – applying a result from one event to all other events
  • Filtering – focusing only on negative aspects 
  • Disqualifying the positive- rejecting positive things about yourself
  • Jumping to conclusions- believing that you know what a person is thinking
  • Magnification- blowing things out of proportion
  • Emotional reasoning- believing that a negative thought reflects something true
  • “Should’ statements- “I should be better at my job by now”
  • Catastrophizing- imagining the worst possible outcome

How Can You Take Power Over These Thoughts?

These thoughts can be frustrating and hard to recognize when you have spent a lot of your time believing that they are rational. For example, if you struggle with “should statements” you might be subconsciously telling yourself that you “should” be doing this or “should” be better at that consistently throughout your day. The good news is that there are ways that you can change your negative thought patterns.

3 Ways You CAN Change your Thoughts

  • 1. Become Aware of Your Thoughts
  • Becoming aware of your own cognitive distortions is a great way to decrease negative thinking. You could do this by keeping a journal of your thoughts and writing them down as you experience them. Another way you could do this is by sharing your thoughts with a trusted person such as a friend, family member, or therapist. Becoming aware of these thoughts equips you to actively decide if you believe these thoughts to be “TRUth” or “lies”.

  • Challenge the Thoughts
  • Challenging your negative thoughts is another good way to change them. You can challenge your thoughts by asking yourself a series of questions. Here are some questions you can ask yourself:

    Questions to Challenge Negative Thoughts

    • Is this a fact or my opinion?
    • What evidence is there to support this thought?
    • Why am I certain of these outcomes?
    • What is the worst that could happen?
    • How would I cope with the worst case scenario?

    These types of questions can help you think more logically about a situation and help decrease the likelihood of spiraling downward.

  • Reframing Your Thoughts 
  • Reframing is being able to take your cognitive distortions and challenge them in another direction.   Instead of allowing the negative thoughts to dominate, you choose to reframe them with the positive potential. It not only changes your perception of the situation, but also changes the meaning of the thought for yourself. You can reframe your thinking by actively doing it in your head, doing it outloud, or on a piece of paper. For example, let’s say that you are struggling with disqualifying the positive. The thought that may be occurring for you is “I only got that job promotion because another person turned it down.” You would reframe this thought by saying something such as “I got that job promotion because I give my best every day and always meet my deadlines.” By doing this you are able to take power over your negative thoughts.

    If you found this helpful and want to move forward to heal and explore what your best next steps are then we are here for you.  At New Vision Counseling and Consulting we have a team of therapists trained to walk with you through the pain and help you heal and make sense of what to do next.  You don’t need to walk this path alone because we are here to help.  You can reach us at (405) 921-7776 or go to our website at NewVisionCounseilng.org to learn more about how we can best help you.

    3 Barriers to Setting Boundaries

    3 Barriers to Setting Boundaries

    Most of us at some time in our life will have trouble setting boundaries with family, friends, employers or even with the family dog.  This could look like you going to Christmas with in laws who are toxic.  Neither of you want to go but you do because your in laws are great at manipulating you through guilt.  Or what about the boss who gives you too much work and has too high of expectations…and at the last minute puts high pressure on you to get it done?  Does any of this sound familiar?

    If you think about it, Setting Boundaries is a type of self-care.  It is a way of telling yourself and others that your needs are important. Without boundaries in your life, you are constantly having to sacrifice your own well-being in order to keep the peace within your relationships. This can cause you to feel drained, misunderstood, and unappreciated.

    If you are unable to set and keep healthy boundaries you may feel overwhelmed, used and feel stuck and uncertain of what to do. When you have a history of letting people dictate your actions, feelings, and emotions it can be difficult to step away from those tendencies.  The good news is You CAN do it.  Identifying what is standing in your way can be your first step in creating healthy boundaries in your life.   Read on to discover three barriers that may be keeping you stuck.

    3 Barriers to Setting Boundaries

    1. Fear

    One barrier that might be standing in your way when creating boundaries is fear.

    There are a variety of things that might make you fearful when creating healthy boundaries with others. The first one is the fear of rejection. You might be afraid that this person will no longer want to be in your life or will no longer need you after setting boundaries with them.

    You might also be afraid of hurting someone’s feelings, if you set boundaries with this individual it might cause them to be upset. If this is something that you fear, try this next time.   Remind yourself that you are not in control of their reaction.  And thankfully, you are not responsible for their emotions or for making them feel better.  The most loving thing you can do is set boundaries so you can show up to life and relationships as the most healthy version of yourself.  And setting boundaries is loving for you and for them.  You are educating them and yourself that you both have value and what you will and will not tolerate.   And, you can do this in a respectful and loving way most of the time.

    1. Guilt 

    Your own guilt could be standing in your way when setting boundaries. For example, there might be someone who is struggling in life and you feel like you need to be there for them. Just because you set boundaries doesn’t mean you can’t support them.  It might look different then what they are used to but, in this case, you are valuing yourself as well.  To make steady progress, It’s important that you do not let the other person’s resistance to your boundaries stop you.

    1. You Don’t Know Where to Start

    Not knowing where to begin can keep you from forming healthy boundaries. When you are not used to setting boundaries with others it might feel unnatural, confusing, and overwhelming.

    Practical Tips to Setting Boundaries

    • Writing them down can give you a clear outlook and can be used as a guide when having a conversation with a person.
    • Set a specific time to have this conversation. This will help you follow through with it and not have to feel rushed or as though you are blind siding someone.
    • Another helpful tip is to have an accountability partner. This is someone who is aware of the boundaries you have set and is willing to hold you to them.
    • Lastly, don’t be afraid or surprised if you have to reiterate your boundaries.

    Be patient with yourself and remember that your needs and wants are important.

    If you found this helpful and want to move forward to heal and explore what your best next steps are then we are here for you.  At New Vision Counseling and Consulting we have a team of therapists trained to walk with you through the pain and help you heal and make sense of what to do next.  You don’t need to walk this path alone because we are here to help.  You can reach us at (405) 921-7776 or go to our website at NewVisionCounseilng.org to learn more about how we can best help you.


    How Anxiety Affects Your Relationships

    As a human you were designed by God to pursue and desire close relationships with others. As you are reading, think about the person you depend on most in your life. This might be a spouse, best friend, sibling, or parent. Now think about how you feel when that relationship is in turmoil. It is a dreadful feeling. Even though you desire close relationships it does not mean they are always easy to maintain. Anxiety can affect how you communicate, sustain and connect with your most valued relationships.

    If you have struggled with anxiety you know how it can overwhelm how you feel, think, and act. In close relationships it is common for you to experience anxiety. Right about now you may be asking-”Why”? A few reasons are because the thought of losing that person, their affections, approval… can bring you great amounts of physical and emotional distress.

    Two ways anxiety can manifest in your relationships are becoming overly dependent on that person or distancing yourself from them. These actions are on two different ends of the spectrum but are both unhealthy ways to cope with the unknowns in your relationship.

    Overly Dependent

    Being overly dependent on a person can look like many different things. You might be feeling as though you could not live without this person’s love and support. Here are some examples you may be able to identify within your own relationships:

    • Overthinking
    • Replaying past conversations in your head
    • Wanting constant communication and feeling lost and desperate when you don’t get it
    • Need for excessive reassurance
    • Unable to be alone and at peace
    • Planning for the worst case scenario


    On the other hand, your anxiety might motivate you to distance yourself from a close relationship. The common underlying belief is that the less you are deeply known the less you can be deeply hurt. You might feel as though you are the only person you can depend on. And although a big part of you may want to grow closer to that person; the fear of getting hurt stops you. Here are some signs that you may be avoiding intimacy.

    • Not wanting to be vulnerable about your inner thoughts and feelings
    • Fear of and refusal to make a true commitment
    • Making important decisions alone
    • Sending mixed signals
    • Withholding love and affection

    This is Me .. HELP!

    If you feel like you just read a blog about you I want you to know there is hope. Maintaining close relationships can be challenging; especially when you’re experiencing anxiety. The good news is you have already taken at least one step towards better by researching how your anxiety could be affecting your relationships. If you are ready to work through the anxiety and grow closer to the people you love, then reach out today. We can help you uncover the issues keeping you stuck and help you create a path of healing and growth moving forward. A path that includes loving relationships where you are loved and deeply known. We would consider it a privilege to walk alongside you in discovering how to work through the anxiety and strengthen your relationships.

    You can reach us at (405) 921-7776 or on the web at NewVisionCounseling.org. We look forward to hearing from you soon!

    Written by Darby Hargrove and Shawn Maguire, LPC. Shawn owns New Vision Counseling and Consulting and has trained a team of therapists who consistently help their clients achieve life changing results. Because of their success in helping clients heal and come alive they are currently the top rated and reviewed counseling practice in Oklahoma.

    Setting Boundaries to Reduce Stress

    Have you ever felt as though stress is following you? It keeps popping up in all different areas of your life. Have you ever considered this stress is created from your lack of personal boundaries? Before I understood the purpose and value of boundaries; I just assumed they only had to do with others. I thought boundaries were the rules and regulations that you put on others. Can you relate? This led to disappointment because at the end of the day you can’t control what other people say or do. Boundaries are about you, they give you the freedom to make your own decisions and gain control of your life. You deserve to live a life where you are in the driver’s seat.

    Boundaries can decrease your stress because it is a way of taking care of yourself. How many times have you said “yes” to something or someone because you were scared of what that person may think of you? I know I am WAY too guilty of this. Imagine if you stopped overextending yourself to others.

    The next time you find yourself stressing out, you may want to ask this question. What parts of my life are giving me the most stress. Then you will have a better idea if you are allowing people, projects or even FOMO to control those stressed out parts of your life. The following are just a few areas where you may find it helpful to set healthy boundaries to reduce your stress.

    Emotional boundaries

    Emotional boundaries keep you from taking on the feelings of someone or the expectation that it is your responsibility to fix them. Is there a person that you lack emotional boundaries with? Maybe you feel as though you are always the giver and never the taker. Maybe you have trouble declining this person’s calls or saying no when they tell you to come over. You might feel as though this person depends on you to function or that you have to take responsibility for their actions.

    Time Boundaries

    Time boundaries can help you know your limits when interacting with and doing things for others. If you don’t have clearly defined boundaries on your time, then you are choosing to let others determine them for you. And that gives people the opportunity to take advantage of you. For example, let’s say your best friend asks you to babysit her kids. No problem right? Except she didn’t give you any notice and she asked you to watch them at least 2 times per week. Up to now, you almost always say yes. You say yes because you know she has to work late and you don’t want to let her down. Even though you feel this is the right thing to do, it is making your life more stressful. One boundary you could set within yourself is telling your friend that moving forward you won’t be able to babysit unless she gives you one week’s notice.

    Financial Boundaries

    Financial boundaries can be challenging, especially in your family. You might feel that you have a financial obligation to a parent or an adult child. In these situations, resentment could be growing towards this person. You want to be able to support and care for them, but it is causing your own family financial stress because of it. With financial boundaries, you are able to still give to your loved ones without disabling your own life. For example, you could set up a budget for an appropriate amount of money that you are able to give each month. This could be called your benevolence fund.

    Ways to Set Boundaries

    Setting boundaries is not always easy, but it is important for your mental health and well-being. It gives you the opportunity to make decisions that are right for you. You can still be giving with your time, money, and emotions without constantly sacrificing your emotional, physical and spiritual well being. Choose to press through the fear of having tough conversations. Conversations where you teach people the way you want to be treated. Here are a few ways to set boundaries:

    • Clearly and quickly communicate your boundaries to others
    • Choose to work through the fear of saying the word “no”
    • Find an accountability partner
    • Identify actions that are deal-breakers for you
    • Learn to let go of guilt

    If you are ready to stop feeling anxious from the stress of not setting Healthy boundaries then we are HERE for YOU. You do not have to walk this road alone. You can reach us at (405) 921-7776 or on the web at https://www.newvisioncounseling.org. We look forward to hearing from you soon!


    If you have not personally experienced grief before, you will at some point because loss is a painful part of this life. When you grieve someone or something it can impact every part of you. Grief can affect your physical health, behavior, spiritual beliefs, social life, emotions and your cognitive functioning. Depending on the significance of your loss; no part of you would remain untouched. This looks different for each of us and these factors Don’t have a specific duration or intensity.

    If you are someone who has experienced grief before you might have heard or been told various misconceptions on what grief should look like for you. These myths might have left you feeling confused, misunderstood, and alone as you try to navigate through a significant loss in your life. This blog will go over various myths about grief that have been turned into facts over the years.

    Myth #1: There is a Specific Sequence of Emotions for Grief

    Most of you have probably heard of the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. You might have been told that once you get through one phase you move to the next until you are “healed”. Unfortunately, the journey of grief is not that easy to define. We are all unique individuals and thus we will have our own unique journey through the pain of grief. Not everyone is going to experience all of these emotions as they are grieving, and some people may experience each of these more than once.

    Everyone’s healing process looks different. For example, two siblings were grieving their mother’s death. One sibling over the span of three years, had waves of anger pop in and out of her life. The other one never experienced anger but spent the majority of the first year depressed. Neither of these individuals were grieving incorrectly. The important rule in grief is that you discover a personalized path to work through grief in a way that is healthy and right for you.

    Myth #2: Grief has a Deadline

    Warden’s Task of Mourning explains how there are no checkpoints to grief and that it is more of a fluctuating process. You learn to embrace a new lifestyle without the person, job, pet or whatever you have lost. Grief does not have a specific time where it will just stop. Instead, you learn how to cope, manage, and live with the loss you endured. Throughout your life grief will come and go, but it does not mean that you have not made progress towards healing.

    There is a 23-year old woman that had her spouse suddenly die in a car accident. 5 years later she struggled with the guilt that came from still grieving his death. She had moved on and was now dating someone new, but never understood why she still had grieving periods. So how did she get help? She began identifying her triggers, finding ways to cope with those triggers, and being able to honor him in her new relationship helped her release the guilt she had been experiencing.

    Myth #3: Grief is Harder on Women than Men

    There are multiple stereotypes that come along with grief, one of them being that men do not experience grief the same way that women experience it. It is not surprising that this is a stereotype considering that we live in a society where if men are emotional it has traditionally been perceived as weakness.

    No matter if you are a man,woman or identify as someone else, all of us need to accept permission to walk through grief in our own way. It is important that you see a grieving individual as a person and not as their gender. One way that one can be more empathetic to men that are grieving is becoming aware of our own personal biases and stereotypes. And if you are a man, giving yourself permission to be sad and to show emotion in ways that are healthy for you.

    If you would like someone to help walk with you and guide you in your grief journey we are here. You do not have to walk this road alone. You can reach us at (405) 921-7776 or on the web at NewVisionCounseling.org. We look forward to hearing from you soon!

    Written by Darby Hargrove and Shawn Maguire, LPC. Shawn owns New Vision Counseling and Consulting and has trained a team of therapists who help their clients achieve life changing results. Because of their success in helping clients heal and come alive they are currently the top rated and reviewed counseling practice in Oklahoma.

    3 Ways to Manage Anxiety

    If you are reading this there is a good chance that either you or someone you love struggles with anxiety. The feeling of anxiety or panic can often decrease your quality of life and prevent you from functioning normally. Anxious thoughts can be difficult to control as your mind begins to spiral in all different directions.

    Anxiety in your life may manifest in many different ways. For instance, it could be the feeling of restlessness, having a sense of impending danger, or even muscle tension. Once you recognize the signs in your life, you can learn how to cope with them. This can include lifestyle changes, adapting mindfulness techniques, or talking with a counselor.


    Some simple lifestyle changes can go a long way when coping with anxiety. For example, making exercise a part of your daily routine. This does not mean you have to incorporate a 10-mile run into your schedule. Exercise does not equal athleticism; anyone can find something they enjoy. It could be as simple as taking your dog on a walk or joining a beginner’s yoga class. Exercise stimulates production of both serotonin and endorphins which helps your mood and releases stress.

    Another lifestyle change that could help reduce anxiety is limiting screen time. We live in a world where we can be connected to the people around us in seconds. This can lead us to compare our achievements, relationships, and self-image to what we see on social media. This comparison can cause us to feel inadequate and unworthy because we don’t feel we measure up. One way to combat this is to make sure the social platforms you use our helping and not hurting you. Another strategy is you choosing to set time limits on your phone for social media or if you want to get next level help then choosing to delete the apps can be a game changer. In counseling for depression and anxiety this can be very effective.

    Some other lifestyle changes that can help manage anxiety are developing healthier eating habits, avoiding or limiting alcohol, and getting longer and better quality sleep.

    Mindfulness Techniques

    Mindfulness techniques can be a great way of managing your anxiety. You might be asking; what is mindfulness? Mindfulness is the state where you focus your full attention on something. Anxiety can be reduced by focusing on the present, instead of what happened in the past or fearing what may happen in the future.

    One tool that I like to use when being mindful is the acronym S.T.O.P. The S stands for stop what you are doing and put things down for a minute. T is for taking a deep breath. The O is for observing your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. P stands for proceeding with something that will support you in the moment. For example; if I am panicking about a big test this is how I would use S.T.O.P. .

    • S–I would put down my study materials.
    • T–Focus on my breath going in and out.
    • O–Understand that my thoughts about failing the test are not facts.
    • P–For my support I would call my best friend.

    Talk Therapy

    Talk therapy can be wonderful when managing stress or anxiety. A popular type of talk therapy is Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) which helps you understand the idea that our thoughts, behaviors, and emotions all affect one another. CBT can be useful when experiencing anxiety because it helps us become aware of anxious patterns and what fuels the anxiety. When you identify what is triggering you and how then you can move forward with changing the pattern from anxiety to peace.

    You can reach us at (405) 921-7776 or on the web at NewVisionCounseling.org for help with anxiety or any other issues you are facing. We look forward to hearing from you soon!

    Written by Darby Hargrove (counseling intern) and Shawn Maguire, LPC. Shawn owns New Vision Counseling and Consulting and has trained a team of therapists who are exceptional at helping their clients achieve life changing results. Because their clients consistently achieve incredible results they are the top rated and reviewed counseling practice in the state of Oklahoma.

    The 3 G’s when Coping with Stress

    Stress is inevitable for all of us and it can come from various areas of our lives. You may have pressure at work, relationship problems, or financial deadlines that feel like they are crushing you. There is no denying the mental, physical, and emotional toll stress can have on our mind, body and heart.

    Pressure in our lives can put us in “flight or fight” mode where we feel anxious and out of control when faced with stressful situations. In those situations it is helpful to accept that we cannot control distressing circumstances happening to us. What is in our power is how we cope with them.

    There are so many ways to handle stress and the three I am going to share are by no means an exhaustive list. They are, however, an opportunity for you to start using them to reduce the toxic affect stress is can have on you and your life.

    The three coping mechanisms are practicing gratitude, being aware of the people in your life, and spending time outside.


    When faced with an overwhelming circumstance it is easy to get tunnel vision and only focus on that one thing. One way you can cope with stressful situations is reminding yourself of people and areas of your life that you are thankful for. This is not easy when you feel like you can’t catch a break, but it can bring your focus and energy towards the positive aspects in your life.

    Some people find it helpful to keep a gratitude journal in order to make it a part of their daily routine. Others will make a list in their note’s app or simply say them in their mind. This doesn’t take much time. And it can help ground you in the positives in your life instead of constantly being consumed by only the stressful areas.

    Example of a gratitude list:

    • Family dinners
    • The ability to feel emotions
    • Health
    • Friendship
    • Relationships (write down names)
    • Cuddling with my dog
    • Car to drive

    The list can be as simple as the example above. This will help you reflect and put your attention on positive aspects in your life that may be taken for granted on a daily basis.

    Groups of people

    Another way you can cope with stress in your life is by being aware of the people you surround yourself with. Are the groups of people in your life building you up or draining your energy? It’s important to identify individuals who are uplifting and that you can count on in difficult times. In stressful moments, a healthy relationship can be a breath of fresh air. A toxic or draining relationship can be…toxic and draining.

    If you feel that you do not have people in your life who are rejuvenating, it might be time to find a new community. There are a couple ways you could do this: join a new club or organization, get involved in a Church group, or volunteer. This can help you expand your horizons and find like minded individuals.

    Get Outside

    Getting outdoors can both decrease your heart rate and lower your stress-hormone, cortisol. This can be as simple as taking a walk around your neighborhood or going on a bike ride at your nearest park. Being outside or in nature can help focus your senses on different sources of energy.

    Think about places you have been that have had natural beauty. Think of vacations, walks by water, sitting on beaches and watching the waves. God designed us to reset and relax when we experience the beauty of His creation. It’s how we are designed.

    For example, you could focus on different trees or flowers, the sound of the birds chirping, or watching the sunset or rise. Our mind and soul benefit from a relationship with nature and it helps us take a step back from life’s fast paced tempo. The more consistently you use these three coping strategies the more impact they will consistently have on your life.

    If you would like to connect and find out more ways to cope with stress and the overwhelm and anxiety that often accompanies it then please reach out. We would consider it a privilege to walk alongside you in discovering how to cope with stress, heal wounds and accomplish your goals.

    You can reach us at (405) 921-7776 or on the web at NewVisionCounseling.org. We look forward to hearing from you soon!

    Written by Darby Hargrove and Shawn Maguire, LPC. Shawn owns New Vision Counseling and Consulting and has trained a team of therapists who help their clients achieve life changing results. Because of the incredible results they help clients achieve they are currently the top rated and reviewed counseling practice in the state of Oklahoma.

    How to Support a Loved One Who is Grieving

    When someone you love is grieving it can be heartbreaking to watch. We automatically want to do anything we can to make their pain more bearable. In these moments, sometimes what you do can be more meaningful than what you say. Many times we put pressure on ourselves to say the “right” things. We often do this because we feel uncomfortable and want their pain to stop. And as great as that sounds, we do not have the ability to do that. Instead, we can support them. We can do this by validating the pain they are in without judgment, just listen and DON’T correct them when they speak. We can empathize with their situation and be physically present to meet practical needs. People who are grieving are often hurting so much they become disoriented and may not know what they need. You can make clear suggestions and see if anything you suggest would be helpful for them.


    Acknowledge that their pain is real and the feelings and thoughts they have around it. Remember, this is a time to love and support instead of confront and correct. If they are grieving a loved one, give them a safe place to share memories and express their feelings. Another way you can support them in their pain is by offering to help with a specific task. People who are grieving are often hurting so much they become disoriented and may not know what they need. And many people will try to be supportive by asking the person in pain: “Let me know if I can do anything for you.” Instead of using vague phases, try asking if you can assist them with a particular burden. That might be bringing them dinner, cleaning up around their house, or helping with funeral arrangements.

    Active Listening

    Active listening is a great way to show support to someone who is grieving. When someone we love is grieving, a common response is to try to make them feel better or “fix them.” Even though we do this out of love and kindness it can be hurtful, especiall with a death. Those who are hurting because they lost someone don’t need advice. Instead, they will often need you to sit and listen without interrupting or judging them.

    Nonverbal communication is a big part of active listening. A couple ways you can show your support is by making eye contact, nodding your head, and being aware of your facial expressions. Refuse to say things like “OK”, “I understand” and any other one word answer that can feel like you are diminishing their pain. These are all simple gestures that can go a long way when it comes to supporting a loved one who has experienced a significant loss.


    A big part of being empathetic is being honest and vulnerable with the person you are talking to. It is easy to get empathy and sympathy confused when you are supporting someone who is in pain. Empathy is the ability to share the feelings of another person and connect with parts of yourself that know that feeling. It is making an effort to place yourself in their shoes. Sympathy is showing feelings of pity or sorrow on someone or their circumstances. An example of sympathy would be giving a person flowers and a card after their mom has passed away. Empathy on the other hand would be taking the perspective of that person, staying out of judgment, and being able to recognize and emotionally validate their feelings.


    Normalizing a person’s experience can bring them a great deal of comfort. When someone is encountering grief, they might be having thoughts and emotions that they never knew were possible. Validating these emotions can help bring acceptance to their grief experience. An example of this could be telling a person “I can see how after what happened you would feel that way.” Another instance could be saying something such as “It makes sense that you are angry with God after losing your brother in a car accident.” These statements show the individual that their thoughts are part of the grieving process and okay.

    The bottom line is that everyone has a unique grief journey. Whether you are in Oklahoma City, Edmond or Japan it will be unique to that person. You have an opportunity to come alongside and be a student of what they need. This could be one of the hardest parts of their life and the love and support you give could make all the difference.

    If you would like someone to help walk with you and guide you in your grief journey we are here. You do not have to walk this road alone. You can reach us at (405) 921-7776 or on the web at NewVisionCounseling.org. We look forward to hearing from you soon!

    Written by Darby Hargrove and Shawn Maguire, LPC. Shawn owns New Vision Counseling and Consulting and has trained a team of therapists who help their clients achieve life changing results. Because of their success in helping clients heal and come alive they are currently the top rated and reviewed counseling practice in Oklahoma.

    How do I Change My Negative Thoughts? 5 Practical Strategies

    Can You Relate?

    Have you ever tried to go to sleep only to be assaulted by a barrage of negative thoughts? Or what about when you say something and feel like it came out the wrong way. Do you find you just can’t stop thinking about what other people are thinking about you because of what you said? If this is you then you are in good company. And by that I mean company includes all of us. Every human on this planet has experienced times when negative thoughts overtake our minds and we feel like prisoners in our own lives. The good news is we have a loving God who cares and has given us practical help.

    What does God say about our thoughts?

    The verse Proverbs 3:4 says, trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. If we were to believe our negative thoughts and perceive them as true, then we would live in constant pain, confusion, and anguish.

    In 2 Corinthians 10:5, we demolish arguments and every argument that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

    What does it mean to be obedient to Christ in our thought life? We take action and don’t allow just any thought to take up residence in our mind. The verse, Philippians 4:8, comes to mind when I think of ways to be obedient in my thought life. He says, MEDITATE ON THESE THINGS!! Finally, brethren, whatever things are TRUE, whatever things are NOBLE, whatever things are JUST (fair), whatever things are LOVELY, whatever things are of GOOD REPORT, if there is any virtue and if there is anything PRAISEWORTHY—meditate on these things.

    Take every thought captive.

    This does not mean to ignore the hurtful or harmful thoughts you may have. It does mean don’t these thoughts to control and overtake you. Challenge every negative thought by interrogating it.

    But how; you may ask?

    5 Practical Strategies

    1. Become aware of your negative thoughts by writing them down and challenging them against the list of things in Philippians 4:8. Is this thought true? Am I being fair to myself or others by keeping this thought? What happened right before I had this thought? Have I eaten yet today? How is my sleep? Am I stressed?

    2. Challenge the thought by asking, how will I feel about this in a week, a month, a year? Will my feelings toward this thought change? When you tend to personalize others emotions you can ask, maybe they were having a bad day? Maybe their mood isn’t actually directed toward me. Did I really do anything wrong? Is this REALLY my issue or is it theirs?

    3. Sometimes we get so stuck in our negative thinking and we need something quick and abrupt to stop that cycle. Imagine yourself riding a bicycle and you are riding along a deep dark alley, heading toward death and doom. Your brakes aren’t working, you can’t stop yourself and you keep speeding up, but nothing seems to work so you grab a stick and throw it in the spokes of your bicycle wheel. This will abruptly stop your bike. Thought stopping works similar to that by saying out loud STOP!

    4. Distract yourself from the negative thoughts by going outside, listening to music, or calling a trusted friend. If your negative thought cycle is becoming incessant and you are deep into the cycle, distractions can help give you the space to think of something different and positive. Then take some deep breaths and think of things that are good and true and noble and just.

    5. Journaling is another great way to get negative thoughts out and give them a place to rest. Even tearing up the paper or safely burning it can release the anger or frustration behind those thoughts. Using positive journal prompts can help to remind yourself of the positive things in your life that represent Philippians 4:8. Make a list of things that are true, praiseworthy, lovely and of good report. Keep a list of positive things you can think on to replace those negative thoughts that like to creep in and then dominate your thought life.

    Just Imagine What Life Could be Like

    Initially it will take some effort to process and challenge your negative thoughts, but as you begin reframing them with thoughts that are good and true, you will notice a major shift in your mood and how you respond to others. You can feel better about yourself and how you think and respond to others. You are worthy of a healthy thought life and are more than capable of achieving one.

    Next Steps

    This is where you can absolutely get the help you need to make positive changes. You can read books on changing your thoughts to change your life, process your thoughts with friends for accountability, or go big and reach out to a therapist. If you are ready to make a change and want someone trained to help you with these issues they are here and ready to get started. You can go to NewVisionCounseling.org or call (405) 921-7776 to start your journey towards what better looks like for you today. We are here to help you and hope to hear from you soon.

    Authored by Shae Gilbert, LPC and edited Shawn Maguire, LPC at New Vision Counseling and Consulting

    How Our Thoughts Can Make Us Depressed, Anxious, Angry…

    Consider the Word Distort

    Have you ever started a day feeling amazing and then something happens that makes you feel depressed, anxious, angry and you just want to ________________(fill in the blank)? I know I have and many times when I look back or talk with friends it seems like it wasn’t nearly that big of a deal. I may have misunderstood something a friend said, felt like I didn’t do a great job on a project, or did something to embarrass myself in front of others. When I looked back on these events I discovered a common theme … Distortion. My perspective of myself, others and their intentions were Distorted.

    When I imagine the word Distorted I think of going through a circus fun house and seeing those mirrors that completely distort your body. It’s as if your body is twisted and construed in weird and unusual ways. Some mirrors cause you to appear short and wide and maybe even wavy, while others stretch you long. It’s easy to recognize that those mirrors don’t accurately represent your body or features.

    Now shift your focus to your thought life and how your thoughts may become distorted like the images in the mirrors. The difference is that you perceive them as true or accurate because you are thinking about them and can’t visibly see the distortion. The thought came from you, so of course you believe it to be true. This can often cause issues in how we relate or respond to others. Our perceptions are built on previous experiences, which become our reality. So if someone reacted negatively toward you in your past, you may have a preconceived idea that others will do the same in the future. And thus, a cognitive distortion is born.

    What are Cognitive Distortions?

    According to the website Therapistaid.com, a cognitive distortion is an irrational thought that can influence your emotion. When you have a distorted thought you will act on that thought as though it were real. You do this because it feels and looks real and true to you based on the distortion. your behavior or reaction to stimulation. We all experience cognitive distortions, but they can become problematic when we allow them to go unchecked.

    Examples of Cognitive Distortions?

    Magnification and Minimization: The idea that something holds greater weight than it actually does is a magnification, for example, “I’m the worst!” A minimization is making something seem like “It’s no big deal” ,or “They stole my purse but it’s fine, they must have needed it more than me.” I’ve noticed that hospitals or doctors offices utilize minimization often to help the patients feel more comfortable about a scary procedure. This can be helpful in those settings, but when it comes to your personal feelings, be mindful of ways you may minimize your experiences. The opposite can happen as well when we magnify them and “blow things out of proportion.”

    Catastrophizing: The thought that the absolute worst-case-scenario will come true. We will talk more about how to challenge these distorted thoughts.

    Overgeneralization: Common phrases used when overgeneralizing are “always”, “never”, “every”, etc.

    Magical Thinking: This is the idea that because you follow the rules or are a “good person” bad things won’t happen to you. Its not based in reality. I find this to be something I’ve struggled with before, especially as a Christian. I’ve thought, “I’m a Believer, I trust God, and do what’s right, why are bad things happening to me? Why isn’t life easier?”

    Personalization: This happens when you take responsibility for or ownership of another person’s feelings. For example, your spouse responds negatively to you and you think “if I do everything right and perfect, they will be happier.” This thought process does not serve you, or them, well and we will talk about how to challenge it.

    Jumping to Conclusions, Mind Reading, Fortune Telling: These distortions are filled with assumptions and can rob you of opportunity for good and pleasurable things. For example, “I’m not going to apply for that job because I already know that someone else better will get it.” Another example is “They didn’t say hi, they must be mad at me.”

    Emotional Reasoning: This cognitive distortion gives to much power to your feelings. For example, “I feel like I am a bad wife, therefore, I AM a bad wife.” Feelings come and go, although we need to pay attention to them, they are not facts. Feelings make great informants but terrible masters.

    Disqualifying the Positive: This is actively ignoring or disqualifying positive things someone says about you. It tends to come from insecurities or the inability to believe that someone sees good in you.

    “Should” Statements: These can get us in trouble, because they are riddled with unrealistic expectations that no one is capable of meeting. For example, “I should always be happy.”

    All-or-Nothing Thinking: This type of thinking keeps you stuck in absolutes, when often life is full of gray in-betweens. All or nothing thinking sees the world in terms of black and white; yes and no.

    How Do Cognitive Distortions Affect Our Mood?

    The CBT Triangle helps bring awareness to exactly how our thoughts impact our mood and behaviors.

    A situation occurs, you have a thought about it, which follows with a feeling attached to that thought. Then you have a response or behavior to the feeling/thought and it is generally confirmed in some way which perpetuates the process.

    This cycle happens repeatedly throughout your day, which, depending on a negative or positive thought, can improve or impair your daily functioning. The good news is that each point in that cycle, you have a choice.

    Ready To Get Help?

    This is where you can absolutely get the help you need to make positive changes. You can read books on changing your thoughts to change your life, process your thoughts with friends for accountability, or go big and reach out to a therapist. If you are ready to make a change and want someone trained to help you with these issues then reach out. You can go to NewVisionCounseling.org or call (405) 921-7776 to start your journey towards what better looks like for you today. We are here to help you and hope to hear from you soon.

    Authored by Shae Gilbert, LPC and edited Shawn Maguire, LPC at New Vision Counseling and Consulting

    How do you release stress and depression?

    How Do You Release Stress and Depression?

    The first thing you should do to relieve your stress is to realize that you can’t control everything. While high levels of stress are natural, they can also lead to depression and other symptoms. Once you recognize these signs, you should find ways to relieve them. One way is to write in a journal. When you feel stressed, write down the events that caused you to become depressed. Once you identify patterns, you can work to avoid experiencing them again.

    If you’re constantly under stress, you may feel like you’re not worth living. This makes dealing with stressful situations very difficult. Instead, you should find ways to cope with them. This can include talking to someone or seeking counseling. Meditation can help you learn to accept stress. It will help you practice self-love and boost your self-esteem. If you’re experiencing high levels of stress, you may benefit from counseling to learn how to recognize and release it.

    Talking about your problems with others

    Talking about your problems with others is another good way to release stress. If you have a supportive network of friends or family, you can confide in them. This helps to improve your relationships and give you social support. It can also help you get rid of stressors that are creating more tension in your life. You can also start a new hobby, take up a new hobby, or learn new skills. All of these activities will help you relieve your stress and make you happier.

    Stress and depression often go hand in hand

    The stress hormone cortisol is released during times of stress. This hormone is essential to the survival of our species, but it is not beneficial in daily life. While stress does protect us, it can also cause health problems. It can increase our blood pressure and make us more vulnerable to certain diseases. By reducing stress, we can strengthen our resilience and overcome depression. This will help us deal with life’s challenges in a more positive way.

    For Depression Therapy and Treatment For Depression in Oklahoma City OK contact New Vision Counseling and Consulting at (405) 921-7776

    Aside from meditation, other forms of exercise are also effective ways to relieve stress. People who shut down should try running or jumping in place. It is also helpful to listen to nature sounds or listen to calming music. By taking action to reduce the amount of stress you experience, you will feel better. However, if you’re unable to find the time to do these activities, you may want to see a mental health professional. These professionals will be able to help you recognize the types of activities that make you feel better and release stress and depression.

    A major life change can lead to an increase in stress and the production of these hormones. When this happens, it’s natural for the body to overreact, and this can lead to depression. The best way to cope with this type of stress is to learn to accept it. Having a healthy self-esteem is important, and this can help you deal with life’s daily demands. Aside from exercising, people should also practice meditating regularly.

    The second step to release stress is to identify the sensory experiences that make you feel relaxed. You should note down your stress levels as soon as you are able to enjoy the sensory experience. A good music choice is a good example of a relaxation activity. If you love music, you should seek out a variety of musical genres and artists to find a song that relaxes you. This will help you find your preferred songs for relaxation.

    You should also find ways to handle the stressors you experience

    If you are unable to deal with your stressors, try meditating. This will help you cope with the stressors and relieve your depression. It will also help you feel happier and more confident in your life. You should also make an effort to take care of your health. Keeping yourself healthy is important. It will be easier to fight off depression when you are healthier.

    New Vision Counseling and Consulting
    11209 N May Ave
    Oklahoma City, OK 73120
    (405) 921-7776
    HCMJ+VM Quail Creek, Oklahoma City, OK
    35.5846, -97.5683

    What can I replace antidepressants with?

    What can I replace antidepressants with?

    If you don’t want to take antidepressants, there are a variety of other options to consider. In fact, if you’ve been diagnosed with mild depression, the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) recommends that doctors try other treatments first before prescribing medication.

    If you’re taking antidepressants, you might want to consider other therapy and support options in addition to your medication.

    Therapy that involves talking

    Doctors should provide you some sort of talking therapy or counselling, according to the NICE recommendations for managing depression. Cognitive behavioral therapy is frequently used in this situation (CBT). Therapy may be used instead of or in addition to antidepressants.

    For more information on the numerous types of therapy that are available, visit our pages on talking therapy and counselling.


    Mindfulness is a means of focusing entirely on the present moment. According to several research, practicing mindfulness can aid in the treatment of depression.

    To treat mental health issues more officially, some structured mindfulness-based therapies have been established. For example, the National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence (NICE) supports mindfulness-based cognitive therapy for the treatment of depression.

    Therapies involving the arts and creativity

    Painting, clay work, music, and theatre therapy are examples of arts and creative treatments that can help you express your feelings. They can assist you in dealing with your symptoms, especially if talking about how you’re feeling is tough for you.


    Ecotherapy is a sort of therapeutic treatment that entails participating in outdoor activities in the natural environment. Working on a conservation project or gardening are examples of this. You can also go for a walk or ride your bike through the woods or other natural regions.

    For Depression Therapy and Treatment For Depression in Oklahoma City OK contact New Vision Counseling and Consulting at (405) 921-7776

    Alternative and complementary therapies

    Complementary and alternative therapy can help some people manage their symptoms. Aromatherapy, reflexology, or acupuncture are examples of such treatments. If you decide to keep taking your prescription, complementary therapies may help you manage some of the adverse effects.

    Antidepressants and other types of drugs can interact with some natural therapies. So, if you’re considering about taking a herbal treatment with a prescription, check with your doctor or pharmacist to see if it’s okay.

    St John’s wort is a herbal remedy that can be used to treat depression and anxiety symptoms. It is accessible for purchase without a prescription.

    The effects of St John’s Wort, as well as the proper dosage and how it interacts with other medications, are all unknown. It’s best to consult with your doctor before taking it, especially if you’re already on any medications.

    Take care of your physical health

    Consider the foods and beverages you consume. A healthy, well-balanced diet can help you manage some of your symptoms. Drinking plenty of water is also beneficial to your mental health. For further information, see our sections on food and mood. Our pages on eating disorders may be of assistance if you have a tough connection with food and eating.

    Make an effort to be more active. Many people feel that engaging in regular physical activity improves their mood, increases their energy, and keeps them grounded in reality. For further information, see our sections on physical activity and mental health.

    New Vision Counseling and Consulting
    11209 N May Ave
    Oklahoma City, OK 73120
    (405) 921-7776
    HCMJ+VM Quail Creek, Oklahoma City, OK
    35.5846, -97.5683

    Is depression curable or just treatable?

    Is Depression Curable Or Just Treatable?

    The question: “Is depression curable or just treatable?” may be a daunting one. Recovery from depression is difficult, and relapse rates are high. In fact, experts suggest there is a 60 percent chance of experiencing another episode after completing treatment. The chances increase to 70 percent for the third depressive episode and 90 percent for the fourth. What is known is that treatment can help people overcome their symptoms.

    A doctor can diagnose depression by evaluating a patient’s symptoms and examining the person’s physical health. Lab tests may be ordered to rule out other conditions. If depression is diagnosed, the doctor will refer the patient to a psychiatric specialist for further assessment. The therapist will ask questions about the patient’s thoughts, feelings, and behavior patterns. They may also administer a questionnaire to gather information about the patient’s symptoms. The DSM-5, published by the American Psychiatric Association, describes depression as a “chronic disorder”.

    If you’re suffering from depression, the best thing you can do is consult a doctor. Your doctor will likely ask you a screening questionnaire, and may perform various tests to rule out other conditions. If there are no obvious physical problems, your doctor may refer you to a psychologist, social worker, counsellor, or other mental health professional. Many mental health professionals are covered by Medicare, so it’s important to look for an approved GP Mental Health Plan.

    If you have a diagnosis of depression, the next step is treatment. A doctor will likely prescribe psychotherapy. This therapy can help you deal with the negative thoughts and behaviors associated with depression. It can also help you improve relationships, resolve early childhood trauma, and heal from grief. Yoga and meditation can also be helpful in treating depression. In addition to medications, you can try other forms of treatment, such as self-reflection or spiritual exploration. It’s important to remember that depression is a lifelong condition, and you should never view it as a failure.

    Fortunately, depression is treatable. If you’ve tried other treatments and still haven’t seen any improvements, consider electroconvulsive therapy. It involves a brief electrical shock to the brain while the patient is under anesthesia. A clinical trial will be conducted on your behalf. This treatment is often only for people with severe depression or those who haven’t responded to other forms. It’s an effective way to relieve symptoms of the disorder.

    For Depression Therapy and Treatment For Depression in Oklahoma City OK contact New Vision Counseling and Consulting at (405) 921-7776

    In addition to the physical exam, a medical evaluation will help determine whether you suffer from depression. A doctor will ask you questions about your symptoms, and may perform tests to rule out other conditions. A psychiatrist will be able to diagnose depression, although you’ll have to make the decision. A psychiatrist will be able to determine if the drug you’re taking is effective and safe. Your doctor will also prescribe medication for you if it’s not the right treatment for you.

    Fortunately, there are many treatments for depression. The first step is to talk to your doctor. A doctor can assess your symptoms and determine whether you need a medication or other medical treatment. The right medication will be the best choice for you. In addition to medication, your doctor may recommend psychotherapy. While antidepressants can help you recover from depression, they can cause a relapse. However, they should only be used when necessary to treat the disorder.

    Treatment for depression is based on a number of factors. A physician will ask about your symptoms and conduct tests to rule out other illnesses. The doctor will also ask about your feelings and behavior patterns. A psychiatrist may refer you to a psychologist. The cost of a psychiatric evaluation may be covered by Medicare. The treatment depends on the individual. The doctors will give you a recommendation.

    There are many ways to treat depression. Some people choose not to get treatment because they don’t feel they need it. Some people end up burying the triggers and allowing the depression to take control of their lives. Others fail to recognize that they have a genetic predisposition to reoccurring depression. If you’re one of those people who is resistant to treatment for depression, the best approach may be to avoid it.

    New Vision Counseling and Consulting
    11209 N May Ave
    Oklahoma City, OK 73120
    (405) 921-7776
    HCMJ+VM Quail Creek, Oklahoma City, OK
    35.5846, -97.5683

    How can I stop negative thoughts?

    How can I stop negative thoughts?

    It occurs to the most well-intentioned of us. You’re blissfully going about your daily routine when suddenly, out of nowhere, the negative thought occurs to you: “What if I’m making a terrible mistake?” Then there’s the reverberation: “I have no idea what I’m doing.” What did I mean when I said that? Why did I consent to it in the first place? “I’m afraid I won’t be able to do it.” And so it goes, with you reliving talks to see how stupid you must have sounded or to figure out what the other person was really saying.

    What follows is a devastating chain reaction that, with each subsequent bad thought, sends your mind into a further downward spiral toward virtual conflagration, paralyzing you in the process. It’s as if you’ve single-handedly blown up your entire world in an instant—all from the safety of your own thoughts.

    Natural Negative Bias in the Brain

    Those mental patterns can be attributed to survival instincts and a biological awareness that we won’t live very long (depressing, we know). According to psychiatrist Grant H. Brenner M.D., FAPA, co-founder of Neighborhood Psychiatry in Manhattan, our brain has evolved to survive and has a bias toward threat detection.

    We are programmed to use negative information significantly more than positive information to inform our world, in addition to this constant scanning for risks. It makes sense when you consider it in the context of evolution. More than enjoying the warmth of a great cave fire, survival depends on identifying danger.

    It’s not only that we’re more likely to use unfavorable information; it also carries more weight. Negative ideas have a greater impact on our brain than happy ones. According to studies, we need more positive signals (at least five) for every negative one to keep things moving in the right direction.

    Our Operating System Has a Bug

    “As we’ve become more technologically sophisticated and advanced, it’s become a more maladaptive role.” We can’t deal with things improving, so our fight-or-flight systems cause us to react adversely to one another,” he says. It’s as if there’s a fault in our collective consciousness. “We lack compassion, and strangers are viewed as enemies rather than family.” “We believe the world is bigger and more powerful than it really is—an illusion that will crumble if we aren’t careful and intelligent,” Dr. Brenner says.

    It’s also a vicious loop. Essentially, the brain is trained to look for and perceive threats early—both internally and externally—which leads to more attention being paid to negative ideas, reinforcing them, and increasing their frequency. “Like a car engine in neutral,” Dr. Brenner explains, “the default mode network of the brain runs an operating system that cycles in more negative ideas and memories, which go around and round, reducing the functions of the brain that could prevent that looping.”

    For Depression Therapy and Treatment For Depression in Oklahoma City OK contact New Vision Counseling and Consulting at (405) 921-7776

    Negative Thoughts and Their Consequences

    The consequences of this negative mind cloud can be disastrous. “Obsessing over a negative idea can become so consuming that it’s impossible to interact with what’s going on in life,” says clinical psychologist Kristin Naragon-Gainey, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at The University of Buffalo. “People may withdraw from who they’re with and what they’re doing as a result of this.” Not to mention the fact that you’re pushing other folks away. “It can be more difficult to appreciate things because you’re more aware of what could go wrong; it can generate conflict with others and add to your stress.” According to Dr. Naragon-Gainey.

    Why Do Some People Suffer From Negative Thoughts More Than Others?

    Dr. Brenner says that traumatic experiences in infancy and adulthood can “strengthen, confirm, and/or develop sticky assumptions” that the world is a bad place. “Such expectations might manifest as negative beliefs that serve as shields against disappointment and other reactions, as well as just conforming to the way the world appears to be,” explains Dr. Brenner.

    Someone who has a negative thinking parent, for example, may internalize such ways of seeing the world and oneself. Another person in the same situation, on the other hand, might behave adaptively by adopting a more cheerful outlook on things. Less resilient people are more inclined to worry and become mired in negative thinking, according to Dr. Brenner.

    New Vision Counseling and Consulting
    11209 N May Ave
    Oklahoma City, OK 73120
    (405) 921-7776
    HCMJ+VM Quail Creek, Oklahoma City, OK
    35.5846, -97.5683

    How do I stop living in my head?

    How Do I Stop Living in My Head?

    If you spend too much time in your head, you might wonder, “How do I stop living in my mind?” There are a number of methods you can use to retrain your mind to not dwell on these thoughts. The first method involves simply recognizing that you’re thinking these thoughts and not responding to them. You might find that this technique takes some practice, but it is worth it in the long run.

    The next technique is to talk to yourself about your feelings. This is an effective way to process the internal stuff and move on. Most of us learned to keep our feelings to ourselves. However, it can be helpful to express our feelings to others. By talking about how you’re feeling, you’ll be able to find ways to get out of your head and live a more fulfilling life. You might even benefit from a professional therapist.

    The last method is to notice the sensations in your body. It’s not enough to just focus on the sensations in your legs and feet. You need to notice the sensation of your heartbeat and breathe. By doing this, you’ll be able to move on and stop living in your head. It may take some time, but in the end, it will pay off. You’ll find that you’re not as stressed as you think you are.

    The next step is to talk to people. By doing so, you’ll be able to process the internal stuff you’re experiencing and begin to move forward. This might be difficult, but you’ll have to do some short-term discomfort before you’ll be able to enjoy freedom. You can seek help from a specialist, such as a therapist. The psychology Today website has a directory of therapists in the area.

    For Depression Therapy and Treatment For Depression in Oklahoma City OK contact New Vision Counseling and Consulting at (405) 921-7776

    You should be able to talk about your feelings. This will allow you to process the inner stuff you’re experiencing and move on. It’s also a good idea to discuss your thoughts with friends. They can help you feel better about yourself and help you develop a deeper connection with others. And they can help you feel good about yourself too. But they’ll need to be aware of you in order to do this.

    The first step is to learn to talk about your feelings. It’s important to talk about your feelings so that you can process them and move on. This will help you become more present in your life. It can be a relief to talk about the things that make you happy. If you have been struggling with negative emotions for a while, this is a great way to start to understand how to stop living in your head.

    One of the most important ways to get out of your head is to share your feelings with others. This is an excellent way to communicate your inner thoughts and let others know that you’re in a good place. Try to share your feelings with other people, and it will make you feel more connected to them. This way, you can share your experiences with other people without feeling the need to hide your emotions. By doing so, you can create a space where you can feel your feelings and be free from these negative thoughts.

    Another way to get out of your head is by sharing your feelings with others. This can be helpful if you want to be more present in your life. It can help you process your internal thoughts and move on. It will also help you find other ways to communicate with others. By being more present with other people, you will be able to connect with them and enjoy the moment more. This is the best way to prevent living in your head.

    The first way to get out of your head is by talking to people. You can share your feelings with other people and it will help you move on from them. Taking the time to talk to other people will help you process your internal stuff and move on. It will help you feel more present and happier. It will also help you feel more comfortable. You will have an easier time getting out of your head if you can open up to other people.

    New Vision Counseling and Consulting
    11209 N May Ave
    Oklahoma City, OK 73120
    (405) 921-7776
    HCMJ+VM Quail Creek, Oklahoma City, OK
    35.5846, -97.5683

    How can I relax my mind?

    How can I relax my mind?

    You may be wondering how to relax your mind if your thoughts seem to be swimming. It’s also worth spending a few minutes learning how to calm your thoughts because it can help your health and wellbeing.


    Meditation teaches you how to quiet your mind in a variety of ways. One meditation session can calm your physiology and relax your thoughts, but repeated sessions over time can help you feel less anxious when you are confronted with stress in the future—meditation can help you become more stress resilient.

    Meditation can help you rid your mind of stressful ideas, and regular meditation can help you become less reactive to stress and more robust in the face of your stressors over time.

    Because mantra meditation is one of many helpful meditation techniques, it’s a fantastic place to start.

    Restructuring of the Mind

    Cognitive restructuring is a technique that teaches you how to calm your mind by altering your habitual thought patterns that cause stress.

    Because we react to stressors that we perceive to be a threat to our well-being, we can learn to relax the mind and experience less stress if we can change our perceptions to be more positive (and more correct). Techniques for cognitive restructuring can assist you in overcoming common cognitive biases.

    Journaling of Gratitude

    One of the “how to relax your mind” ideas that works effectively is to shift your emphasis from what concerns you to everything you have to be grateful for.

    For Depression Therapy and Treatment For Depression in Oklahoma City OK contact New Vision Counseling and Consulting at (405) 921-7776

    Gratitude research demonstrates that establishing a grateful mindset has numerous benefits, and keeping a gratitude notebook is a simple approach to achieve this shift in emphasis. After a few weeks, you should notice yourself focusing on the aspects of life that make you feel glad rather than agitated, and your mind will become more relaxed as a result.

    Consult a Good Friend

    Getting social support from trusted friends can help you process your emotions and provide you with fresh and helpful suggestions for dealing with your stressors, which can help you relax your mind by making you feel less burdened by your stressors. That is why it is critical to retain a supporting community of friends.

    Talking things out with a trustworthy confidante might help you feel more calm and provide the insight you need to take action.

    Find Out More About Stress Management

    Learning more about stress and stress management, as well as having a toolbox of stress-relieving behaviors and tactics, can help you feel more prepared to tackle whatever comes your way.

    Relax and unwind with some chocolate

    Break off a square of dark chocolate when you need a little break to improve your brain function and reduce stress. Source you can trust. Dark chocolate is also lower in sugar than milk chocolate, yet it still satisfies the sweet taste.

    Take a spoonful of honey and enjoy it

    Our buzzy pals’ amber elixir may reduce anxiety, battle depression, and even protect the brain Trusted Source.

    Honey can be drizzled in tea, coffee, yogurt, or eaten directly from the jar with a spoon. The sweet stuff might also give you a fast surge of energy.

    Go for a tropical theme

    Take a five-minute break to peel, slice, and chew on a sweet mango. Mangos contain the chemical linalool, which is the major element of lavender essential oil.

    Take a bite of chewing gum

    Maybe you’re caught in traffic, cleaning the house feverishly before your in-laws arrive, or doing that final term report. Gum chewing is a simple technique to keep stress at bay while also potentially improving your mood and productivity. Source you can trust.

    New Vision Counseling and Consulting
    11209 N May Ave
    Oklahoma City, OK 73120
    (405) 921-7776
    HCMJ+VM Quail Creek, Oklahoma City, OK
    35.5846, -97.5683

    How can I improve my mental health without medication?

    How Can I Improve My Mental Health Without Medication?

    Many people believe that antidepressants can cure depression. But these drugs aren’t effective, and they don’t help you get better. The most effective treatments for depression are psychotherapy and lifestyle changes. In some cases, though, medicines may be necessary. You should always consult with your primary care provider before attempting any of these measures. There are many options available, and it is important to understand the options available.

    First, manage your symptoms. By reducing your obligations and setting realistic goals, you will be able to lessen the effects of your mental illness. When you feel more ill, give yourself permission to do less. Make a schedule of tasks for the day, and keep a planner handy. Remember to adopt a positive attitude and remember that there’s no such thing as a bad day, but even the worst day can help you improve your mental health. Use the hashtag #mentalillnessfeelslike to share your experience with others.

    It’s possible to treat mental illness without medication. Studies have shown that natural treatments are effective for promoting mental health, and are free of side effects. By addressing symptoms that aren’t merely caused by diet, exercise, and sleep, natural treatments can have a profound effect on the body. If you haven’t tried any of these remedies, consider starting a new one today!

    While there isn’t a magical solution for every person with a mental illness, there are some very effective ways to improve your mental health. Emmie Pombo, a Florida college student, is advocating for the people who have been silent about their struggles. By sharing your stories, you can also help to diminish the stigma surrounding mental illnesses, which are increasing in prevalence throughout the world. So, what are you waiting for? Start now. You’ll be glad you did.

    There are many ways to improve your mental health. Try eating more dark chocolate. It has flavonoids, which improve alertness. Another way to improve your mental health is to talk to friends and family. Discuss your experiences with the hashtag #mentalillnessfeels like to spread the message that it’s not a psychiatric condition. It’s also good for your physical and emotional health.

    For Depression Therapy and Treatment For Depression in Oklahoma City OK contact New Vision Counseling and Consulting at (405) 921-7776

    The first step in improving your mental health is to get an accurate diagnosis. This is the first step in choosing the right treatment. It’s important to understand exactly what you’re suffering from, because it will determine what steps you need to take. You should be able to communicate with your doctor and other healthcare providers, and they should have enough information to help you. You may also want to share your story on social media, especially on a hashtag like #mentalillnessfeels.

    There are a few things you can do to improve your mental health naturally. One is to try dark chocolate. It has flavanoids that improve alertness, while theobromine boosts alertness. Finally, a person should share their story. It may help other people with similar situations. It can be a good way to help other people understand that they are not alone. This is the most effective way to combat a mental illness.

    It’s essential to be aware of your symptoms and your feelings. Your body will feel the strain if you’re not aware of it. Your physical symptoms may be a result of stress or other mental illness. You can fight back against the pain and help yourself feel better by adopting practical methods that can improve your mental health. There are no limitations to your story. You can share it with others via a hashtag, and it will go viral.

    While medications are helpful for a short period of time, these drugs can also be harmful to your body. By using a medication, you could suffer for years without ever feeling better. However, these medications have negative side effects. By reducing your intake of medications, you can increase your overall mental health. It is important to make sure you are doing the right things for your body. If you have a chronic mental illness, it’s important to be aware of the side effects of the drugs.

    New Vision Counseling and Consulting
    11209 N May Ave
    Oklahoma City, OK 73120
    (405) 921-7776
    HCMJ+VM Quail Creek, Oklahoma City, OK
    35.5846, -97.5683

    How do I stop overthinking and depressed?

    How do I stop overthinking and depressed?

    Overthinkers are troubled by disturbing thoughts—whether they’re beating themselves up over a mistake they made yesterday or worrying about how they’ll succeed tomorrow—and their inability to get out of their own heads leaves them in a condition of perpetual anguish.

    While everyone overthinks things now and again, some people just can’t seem to stop themselves from thinking. Ruminating and worrying are two damaging thought processes in their inner monologue.

    Rehashing the past is what ruminating entails:

    I shouldn’t have raised my hand in today’s meeting. Everyone looked at me as if I were a moron.

    I could have stayed at my previous work. I would have been happier if I had simply stayed there.

    My parents always told me that I wouldn’t amount to anything. They were correct.

    Worrying entails making pessimistic, often disastrous, predictions about the future:

    When I deliver that presentation tomorrow, I’m going to disgrace myself. My hands will tremble, my face will flush, and everyone will notice that I am inept.

    I’m never going to be promoted. It makes no difference what I do. It will not take place.

    My spouse will find someone who is better than me. I’m going to be divorced and alone in the end.

    Overthinkers don’t only think about their life with words. They also bring up images from time to time. They may imagine driving off the road or watching a terrible occurrence play out in their heads like a movie. In any case, their proclivity for overthinking everything prevents them from achieving something useful.

    Overthinking Is Dangerous

    Thinking too much about things isn’t simply inconvenient; it can also be harmful to your health. According to research, concentrating on your flaws, mistakes, and difficulties raises your chance of mental illness. And as your mental health deteriorates, your proclivity to ruminate rises, creating a difficult-to-break vicious cycle.

    Overthinking has also been linked to substantial emotional suffering in studies. To cope with their anxiety, many overthinkers turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms like alcohol or food.

    If you’re an overthinker, you’re probably already aware that your mind won’t shut down and you can’t sleep. Rumination and concern are linked to fewer hours of sleep and poorer sleep quality, according to studies.

    For Depression Therapy and Treatment For Depression in Oklahoma City OK contact New Vision Counseling and Consulting at (405) 921-7776

    How to Refrain From Overthinking

    It’s easier said than done to put an end to rehashing, second-guessing, and terrible forecasts. You may, however, minimize your negative thought habits with consistent practice:

    Recognize when you’re overthinking things

    The first step in putting an end to overthinking is to become aware of the problem. Begin to pay attention to how you think. Recognize that your thoughts aren’t useful if you find yourself rehashing events in your mind or fretting about things you can’t control.

    Your Thoughts Should Be Challenged

    It’s all too easy to get caught up in negative thinking. Accept that your ideas may be exaggeratedly negative before you determine that calling in sick will get you fired or that forgetting one deadline will cause you to become homeless. Learn to spot and correct thinking flaws before they send you into a tailspin.

    Maintain an active problem-solving mindset

    It is not beneficial to dwell on your issues, but it is beneficial to seek solutions. Consider what actions you can take to learn from a mistake or avoid an issue in the future. Rather than wondering why something happened, consider what you can do about it.

    Set aside time for introspection

    Long durations of meditation on problems are ineffective, yet brief reflection can be beneficial. For example, considering how you could do things differently or identifying potential problems in a plan can help you do better in the future. Make 20 minutes of “thinking time” a part of your everyday routine. Allow yourself to worry, ruminate, or mull about whatever you like during this time. When the timer goes off, switch to something more useful. Remind yourself that you’ll think about it later if you find yourself overthinking things outside of your allotted time.

    Mindfulness is a good thing to do

    When you’re living in the moment, it’s impossible to dwell on the past or to be concerned about the future. Make a commitment to becoming more aware of the present moment. Mindfulness, like any other skill, requires practice, but it can help to reduce overthinking over time.

    Switch to another channel

    It’s possible that telling yourself to quit thinking about something will have the opposite effect. The more you try to keep the thought from entering your mind, the more likely it will return. The best technique to change the channel is to engage in an activity. Exercise, participate in a conversation about something completely different, or start working on a project to keep your mind from racing with unpleasant thoughts.

    New Vision Counseling and Consulting
    11209 N May Ave
    Oklahoma City, OK 73120
    (405) 921-7776
    HCMJ+VM Quail Creek, Oklahoma City, OK
    35.5846, -97.5683

    What is the most effective way to treat depression?

    What is the Most Effective Way to Treat Depression?

    The most effective way to treat depression is to make lifestyle changes that will make your life more enjoyable and active. You can do this by getting up at a specific time each day and making a commitment to participating in activities every day. Another helpful tip is to schedule time with a supportive person. Even one phone call a day can help you to feel better about yourself. By taking action, you will be able to feel better more quickly and get on with your life.

    Although you may think that depression is permanent, it’s not. Though it can seem that way in the moment, it’s actually treatable. The right strategy will help you get on track to feeling better. In the meantime, try to remain as active as possible. For example, try to keep a regular sleep schedule to prevent depression. Excessive sleep can feed the symptoms of depression. Also, avoid tackling problems during the night.

    There are several treatments for depression that work in different ways. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps patients identify and change negative thoughts and behaviors. CBT is a very common approach for people with depression, as it helps patients learn how to better interact with others. Similarly, Interpersonal Therapy focuses on improving the patient’s relationships with other people. It aims to improve the patient’s social skills, resolve troubling events in their lives, and improve their mood.

    Various forms of therapy aim to alleviate the symptoms of depression. CBT focuses on changing thoughts, feelings, and behavior patterns that contribute to the disease. Psychosocial therapy helps patients improve their relationships with other people. In addition, CBT can help them improve relationships and resolve troubling events in their lives. During this process, the patient will learn new techniques for building and maintaining relationships. The best way to treat depression is to work with your doctors and find out what works best for you.

    For Depression Therapy and Treatment For Depression in Oklahoma City OK contact New Vision Counseling and Consulting at (405) 921-7776

    Using therapy for depression is an effective way to overcome the condition. It helps to identify the causes of the depression and reshape these behaviors. The most important thing is to talk to people who can lift you up and give you support. In addition to talking to friends, you should try to engage in activities that will make you feel more positive. You should also maintain a regular sleep pattern. Too much sleep can increase the chances of developing a depression.

    There are many different methods to treat depression. Some are more effective than others. A psychologist can help you choose the right treatment for your individual situation. It may take a long time to recover from depression, but it is worth the effort. If you follow these tips, you will be able to live a happier life and fight your depression. You can find the most effective way to treat your specific case.

    Besides psychotherapy, alternative therapies such as meditation and yoga can also be effective. These therapies involve reducing stress and helping you to express emotions in healthy ways. These methods may help you overcome the symptoms of depression and improve your mood. They may also be a good addition to psychotherapy. A psychologist can also recommend self-help books and websites. You should seek help from a mental health professional to find the right treatment for you.

    First of all, you need to make lifestyle changes. You should avoid napping and other activities that distract you from your normal routine. If you are depressed, it is important to avoid being alone at night. Furthermore, it is important to maintain a regular sleep schedule. Moreover, a lack of sleep can exacerbate your depression. The best way to deal with your depression is to talk to people who can help you.

    Changing your lifestyle is a good way to treat depression. You should avoid napping. Instead, make sure you have plenty of company. It can help you sleep better. You should also keep a regular sleeping schedule. Insomnia and too little sleep can lead to depression, so make sure to have a reasonable amount of rest. You should also avoid solving problems at night. If you can, try to engage in activities that stimulate your mind.

    New Vision Counseling and Consulting
    11209 N May Ave
    Oklahoma City, OK 73120
    (405) 921-7776
    HCMJ+VM Quail Creek, Oklahoma City, OK
    35.5846, -97.5683