What does the Bible say about grief?
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).
God is no stranger to grief. He sent His only son to die on the cross for our sins. He knew that Jesus was going to suffer, but He made His death mean something. His life and death both had a purpose. Though it may be close to impossible to see right now, your loved one’s life and death have a purpose in God’s design. That doesn’t mean you see it, agree with it, or even believe that losing your loved one could have a purpose other then heartache.
The great thing about winter is that there is always spring to bring new life. There is a season for everything and the Bible provides knowledge on how to face all the storms of life; including death. You may be staring at an empty chair, or sitting in a quiet house that was once filled with laughter and joy, wondering to yourself; “How do I go on without them?” It’s okay to be mad, devastated, or resentful, even toward God. He often reminds us that the world we live in has fallen and now bad things happen to Godly people on this side of heaven. In this life pain and loss are inevitable, but long term suffering doesn’t have to be. God wants us to cast our cares on the Lord and invite him into the pain. You don’t have to go through this alone.
“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:18).
The world we live in is temporary. It can be easy to become short-sighted and forget that we have everlasting life in eternity. When we lose someone close to us, the last thing we want to think about is waiting to see them again in the future when we too join our heavenly home. If you’re like me, you have probably wished that you could bring someone back, or that the pain of missing them would go away. The pain surrounding death can seem like an ocean. As you look around, there seems to be no end in sight and you may feel like you can’t catch your breath. I am here to tell you that one day, you will catch your breath again.
Process your feelings
“The Lord upholds all who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down” (Psalm 145:14).
Sometimes when we are hurting or grieving, we stay busy to avoid letting the pain in. The busy fills the empty spaces and helps distract you, if only for a moment, that you are missing your loved one. It can feel impossible to remain still in these moments. You want to avoid reality at all costs, but there is no way around grief. Grief demands to be given time to mourn and then process how to live life in the next season. This journey will look different for everyone, and the way you deal with your grief is a personal choice. Let the hurt in, feel their absence, honor their life. Invite God into your heart and let him help you heal.
Grieve with others
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept (John 11:33-35).
As Mary grieved the loss of her brother Lazarus, others grieved with her. Jesus also grieved his death and felt her pain. It can be helpful to reach out to others who know our struggle. Joining a local bereavement group can help you heal with others who are battling the same storm. You can tell your story, and the story of the one who you lost. This will keep their memory alive and provide you with a safety net of confidants who can support you on your toughest days.
Know that there is still a life worth living
“Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again, and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy” (John 16:22).
It may not seem possible in the current moment, but you will find joy again. Worshiping God through life’s pain can be difficult, but he will restore what was lost. He says he will make all things new. I choose to believe that you will get to be with your loved one again without pain or suffering. But that is in heaven and you are still here. So what do you do? Start by working on accepting the reality that life will be different and adjustments will need to be made. Seek God and He will help you pick up the pieces. Death can shatter lives and devastate beyond belief, but God always comes through. Cast your worries and anxieties on Him. Look for people, activities, time with God and other ways you can reduce the pain and eventually start bringing joy back into your life. Each day will seem impossible, but you will look back and realize that He gave you the strength you needed to make it through. If you or someone you know is struggling with grief, we have the resources and help you need.
At New Vision Counseling and Consulting, we have a team of compassionate and faithful therapists who will guide you through your loss. Many of us have experienced grief and we want to provide you with the comfort you need. Some struggle to cope with loss and this is understandable. Everyone processes grief in their own way. We want to help you find your way as you honor your loved one. Grief is not simple and it can get messy, but we are here to help you make sense of the mess. As faith-based counselors, we will sit with you in your pain. We will create a non-judgemental space for you to grieve. We will be by your side to listen, encourage and guide you into God’s healing in a way that is right for you. We can help you experience hope and love again. The natural next step is to contact us at (405) 921-7776.