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Homeschooling what now? A Therapist’s Perspective

As most families are struggling to balance what appears to be our new normal life for at least the foreseeable future, a new challenge begins next week when most Oklahoma School-aged children are heading back to school.  Only this time, when they go back to school they will not be returning to the physical classroom, but beginning a new challenge of learning at home.  With this comes a new set of challenges and opportunities for parents, students, and yes especially teachers.

I know most schools have begun contacting parents to ensure the students have the necessary technological resources to actively participate in distance learning/ homeschooling.  Some schools and kids will be able to complete required coursework via online learning, others will have to complete printed material.  This is a huge challenge for all involved.  I would like to remind you as a parent you are not alone in the struggle, teachers and students alike are feeling it too.

Many of you may be asking yourself the following questions in regards to homeschooling:

• How do I juggle home responsibilities and teaching?

  If you have concerns about how you will juggle your responsibilities, I suggest coming up with a schedule.  I have found that when I become more anxious and am worrying about all the things that need to get done I easily get overwhelmed.  I have also found that having a schedule with tasks and responsibilities written down, allows space in my head to not have to worry about such things.

• I’m worried I’m not smart enough to help my child with school.  

  If you are worried about your intelligence and ability to help your child with school, you are not alone.  Most people who are beginning something new have doubts about their abilities.  Think about that promotion or your first professional job out of school.  I know I was very nervous and had to consistently fight that little voice inside my head we call self-doubt.

• What if I screw up as a parent trying to teach my kids.  I’ve never gone to school and worry I don’t know what to do.

  I understand the feelings of fear associated with messing up as a parent.  At this time those feelings may be increased due to the added responsibilities.  However, I believe we (as parents) will have more support than most teachers starting out.  We will have the internet and Facebook to ask for help and ideas, as well as, most of the teachers will be more than willing to give us advice and guidance in helping our kids.

• As a parent what can I do to provide the greatest opportunity for success for my student?

  The greatest thing we as parents can do to provide the best opportunity for our students to be successful is to be present with them.  As parents, we will need to at times have more patience with them, as well as added structure.  The more we can control ourselves and our emotions the easier it will be for our students/ kids.  When I have an upset kid, one of the things I do to help them is a breathing exercise.  I start what I call a broken record routine, and repeat this over and over again until the child starts to calm down.  The routine goes like this:  “I’m going to smell the flowers (I breathe in through my nose), I’m going to blow out the candles (blow out through my mouth), I’m going to continue this until I calm down.”  One of the most interesting things I have experienced from this exercise meant to help calm my kid down is that it helps me not lose my cool as well.  Our kids will need us to be calm, stable, and available to them.

• I’m stressed already worrying about how to keep my family safe and now I’m having to figure out how to help them with school…

  If you are stressed already then now is the best time for you to take advantage of some stress-reducing activities.  There are numerous apps for both android and ios that help with breathing exercises, self-meditation, and relaxation exercises.  I have also found that there are times when just taking a break and having a dance party with kids helps reduce my anxiety

Some resources that are available right now to help with learning

The Oklahoma Educational Television Authority (OETA) has also begun to assist with homeschool efforts by changing their daytime programming.  Beginning March 30th, 2020 OETA will be broadcasting educational programming to help in conjunction with what the schools are doing.  Here is a link to the schedule that breaks down the programming based on grade level.  On their website, OETA reports that these changes will last until the end of the school year.  For more information on OETA’s programming changes click here.

ABC Mouse is offering free access during the school closures at ABCmouse.com.  You can use the code “AOFLUNICEF” for the Early Learning Academy (which is preschool to 2nd grade) and Reading IQ (for preschool through 6th grade).  The Adventure Academy (for grades 3rd through 8th) uses a different code “SCHOOL7771”.

Takeaways

This pandemic shall pass.  In time we will all get back to whatever we considered a “normal” life.  Each of us has a unique opportunity of the likes most have never seen.  We have the opportunity to take this moment in time, slow down, and actually feed ourselves and our children emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  Human connection is vital for us we crave it, desire it, and thrive from it.  What better way to connect with our kids than during this time when we are homeschooling them.

If you find other resources for parents, teachers, or students please post them in the comments below so we can help get the word out on all the resources available.  Helping each other during this time is what makes us as Oklahoman’s so great!!!

At New Vision Counseling we help individuals, couples, and families like you create a life worth celebrating.  We have 2 locations conveniently located in Oklahoma City and Edmond!!  Give us a Call or schedule your free consultation.  Let us work with you on your path to healing and restoration.  We look forward to hearing from you.

Written by Daniel K. Edwards, II., MS, LMFT

Daniel K. Edwards, II. is a Licensed Marital and Family Therapist that specializes in Helping Couples find their way to the Relationship they want.

Are you Considering Couples Counseling?

Are you considering couple’s counseling but questioning whether it is can truly make a difference? Research supports that couple’s counseling is indeed effective, and at New Vision, we see a very high rate of success with our couples. We contribute this success to the fact that our counseling methods and theory are based on the inerrant Word of God. We combine the best of what psychology has proven to be effective with the truth of God’s word to create the most optimal treatment for our clients.
Some of the most common questions asked by those considering couple’s therapy include:

• How long will it take?
  This is a question people frequently ask by those considering marriage counseling. Oftentimes, we see couples make very quick progress in their relationship. It is not uncommon for couples to see dramatic changes in their relationship in as little as four to eight sessions. In marriages with more difficult and long-standing issues, it will, of course, take longer. The rate at which a couple’s progress depends largely on their commitment to the process. 

• What if my partner is unwilling to come?
  It is not uncommon for one person in the relationship to begin therapy on their own. Since marriage is a system, when one person in the marriage begins to make positive changes in their own life, it has a positive effect on the entire system/marriage. We frequently have spouses join in the process once when they begin to see the positive effects in their partner.

• What if my spouse has already filed for a divorce?
  Unfortunately, it is not uncommon for couples to wait until the relationship looks doomed for failure before they reach out for help, but no couple is beyond help. While we may not be able to save every marriage, it is never too late to begin the work on yourself.  And again, one partner can often make a significant difference in the marriage.

What about divorce or severe distrust?

Furthermore, couple’s counseling is extremely important even for those who go through a divorce. Research shows that divorcing couples who can communicate well with one another, provide their children with less stress and trauma during the divorce process.

• What if I have lost feelings for my spouse?
  In a word, feelings are fickle. We cannot rely on our feelings to make life-changing decisions. As we help couples get to the root of their relationship issues, learn how to meet one another’s needs, communicate respectfully, and become friends again, positive emotions toward their spouse naturally resume.  If you have ever felt love for your partner, you can feel it again.

• What if our relationship has suffered severe disloyalty and heartbreak?
  There is no marriage that is beyond hope. We have seen marriages overcome the most painful situations including pornography, addiction, adultery, and severe trust violation. At New Vision, we believe that God is a Master at restoring broken hearts and broken lives. We are committed to providing our clients with the best opportunity possible to see their marriage completely restored and made even better than before.

One last reason to consider counseling at New Vision is that we have a very high standard for the therapist’s we hire. Our therapists are experts in their field, trained in methods that are proven in efficacy, as well as seasoned believers who practice a godly lifestyle. We adhere to the Biblical premise of hiring those who are not a novice (I Timothy 3:6) but have a history of relying on the wisdom and knowledge of God in their own lives and in their counseling practice.

Written by:  Gina Helms

Gina is a Licensed Professional Counselor Candidate who  works with her clients to get to the root of their issues so they see real results and see the maximum change in their life. If you want to get started on your own personal journey to health, peace, and complete transformation, call me today for your free 15-minute consultation.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR, is a type of therapy that helps people heal from trauma and disturbing events or life experiences using eye movements, taps, or sounds. The research over the past 20-30 years shows that it can be a very effective form of treatment for a range of issues, especially people dealing with current and past traumas and PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Anxiety, depression, and other issues can also be treated with EMDR.

What many people like about the process is that it does not involve medications and is different from traditional talk therapy. Instead of mainly talking about all your problems or traumas and trying to make some sense of them, with EMDR you bring up the traumas and distressing events and allow your brain to reprocess them in whatever ways it needs to in order to heal. As a client, you are completely conscious and aware as you just allow your brain to do the healing, while the therapist guides the process.

That sounds good, but also a little strange. What’s really going on here…are you hypnotizing me?

No hypnosis here, and as I mentioned above, you will remain conscious and aware during the entire process. What many experts believe is happening in EMDR is that we are using a process the brain already uses at night during dream sleep and REM sleep to help us work through and process what happened during the day and in the past. What we notice in dream sleep and REM sleep, is that our eyes move back and forth while the brain is processing. You may have seen someone else’s eyes doing this while sleeping and wondered what was going on. This is the process that EMDR is imitating.

Okay, so how does this really work?

Have you ever had a moment where you thought something like, “I feel like a little kid again,” or “I feel like I am in high school”? Where did that come from? Most likely, something in the present connected you to that past (unless you really are a kid or in high school). You may even begin to act like you did as a child or a high school student and feel the things you felt at that time. Before you know it, you are remembering some of the events that occurred at that time. If the memories are negative or traumatic, you may start to have some of the same negative beliefs now that you had about yourself back then, like “I am so stupid,” or “I can’t get anything right,” or “I have no control”. You may also experience physical symptoms like you did back then. EMDR works by targeting the memories from the past causing these present reactions and feelings, and then helping resolve them in a more beneficial and healing way for you.

You may also like to think about it this way: When a distressing event or a trauma occurs, it gets stored in the brain just like you capture a moment when you take a picture. However, in addition to the picture, the sounds, thoughts, feelings (emotional and physical) all get recorded. That information, like a picture, can get locked or frozen in time. Now, whenever something that even remotely reminds you, consciously or unconsciously, of that event, you re-experience that event in the present to some degree. If the brain does not process the information and make it a part of your past, it will continue reacting to it as if it is still occurring today. This can happen in subtle ways such as negative thoughts, fatigue, irritability, depression or anxiety, or not-so-subtle ways, like flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks, extreme reactions to others, debilitating fear or anxiety.

EMDR helps to “unfreeze” the memories in the past so the brain can reprocess through them in the present. This occurs in a safe environment with support and guidance from a therapist. The brain can then allow the memory to be an event in the past, just like other events in the past, but with less emotional intensity whenever it comes up. Subsequently, when those distressing memories are resolved and reprocessed, other things associated to that memory, like other memories, negative beliefs, fears, panic, and sometimes even physical symptoms, can also heal and change.

As a Christian, how does EMDR fit into my faith?

This is a very important question! At New Vision Counseling and Consulting we bring together biblical principles with cutting-edge counseling techniques so you can get the best treatment for you as a Christian.  EMDR seems to work because it taps into our God-given system and brain to heal. God created us in amazing and beautiful ways and we get to utilize those. In addition, all throughout Scripture God’s people use past stories and events to transform how they live in the present. How they related to those stories determined how they lived in the present. Reminding yourself and understanding who you are in Christ and who created you leads you to live a completely different life, with new thoughts, feelings, and beliefs!

Have you ever noticed that when you change your perspective or story about what is happening to you, you change? For instance, someone really hurt you by something they said and it really gets you down (if not downright angry). You stress about it, struggle with it, but then one day you come to a new understanding, either about yourself, the other person, or about God. With this new understanding comes new feelings, and with these new feelings you have new thoughts, and with these new thoughts you take new actions. From these changes you heal and get past the hurt and you transform. This is the very process that EMDR can help stimulate and encourage.

I believe EMDR helps you find new perspectives, and when you have a faith that is all about changing the way you view the world and people (i.e. love your enemies, love one another, forgive one another), you are able to experience dramatic breakthroughs through this process. EMDR may be able to help you change the way you see or relate to things so that you can live in greater freedom today! As the scripture in Galatians 5:1 exclaims, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.”

What if I am not a Christian, can I come to New Vision for EMDR?

Yes! We will honor and value you wherever you are at in regards to faith, and we will respect that. We will gladly provide EMDR and help you through what you are needing. We want you to experience the healing from your past traumas and difficulties. It is a blessing to be able to use this tool with so many people to help resolve trauma and other difficulties

What do I need to do in order to get started?

Give us a Call and get an appointment! When we meet at our first appointment we will determine if EMDR is right for you, because, first and foremost, we want to make sure that we provide the best treatment for you. EMDR, like any other therapy, is not a cure-all for everything and everyone, but it has shown thrown many studies over many years that it is effective. At the first session we will make a plan together and determine where to start your healing. Also, EMDR requires no homework! You do the therapy during the session (generally 45-50 minutes) and then continue it at the next session.

We look forward to helping you on your healing journey!

Written by:
Ben Thompson, LMFT

Ben Thompson is a Licensed Marital and Family Therapist who specializes in helping individuals and couples breakthrough their pasts so they can live more powerfully in the present and future.

He is trained in EMDR.

For more information about EMDR, go to emdria.org. If you would like to see the extensive research and studies on EMDR to their Resources link at https://www.emdria.org/page/emdrarticles.

If you are doing a little digging and you want to know what approaches and therapies are out there, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (or CBT) most certainly will come up. At New Vision Counseling in Edmond and Oklahoma City locations, you will find the counselors and therapists often utilizing a form or fashion of CBT.  CBT is an approach to counseling with statistics to back its value and impact. But should a Christian consider this approach? In this article I will explain some of the limitations this approach has for the Christian client. I will also highlight the ways CBT does fit in a Biblical framework. Consider these various aspects and make the best choice for yourself.

When viewing CBT through the eyes of a Christian, it has some limitations. One of the limitations of CBT is that it does not address spiritual aspects, as it primarily focuses on the “thoughts, feelings and emotions” of an individual. It may call various aspects of spirituality as wrong thinking and part of unhealthy internal self-talk. Because CBT does not pick up on spiritual aspects of the thought process, CBT then can exclude the core beliefs of the Christian faith. A core belief is a person’s building block in the way they see life around them. Traditional CBT may not affirm the unique beliefs a Christian holds and therefore could be detrimental to the client. 

A second limitation of CBT is the perspective that says a person is responsible for their thoughts. Traditional CBT does not include the Christian truth that involves John 10:10 describing the “enemy of our souls” by saying the “thief comes to steal, kill and destroy”. In my experience, both personally and professionally, the “enemy” implants negative thoughts and feelings that affect self-talk and self-perception. It is crucial for a person to understand that the origin of these thoughts is not from themselves to spare unneeded shame or condemnation, and ultimately this makes it easier for the person to distinguish right thinking.

Although there are some limitations to CBT in the Christian faith, there are some elements that agree in scripture.

• Take every thought captive.

• In 2 Cor 10:5, Paul teaches us that we are to take every thought captive and make it submissive to Christ. The word “captive” is very strong language and refers to a military submission in its meaning. There is a charge to very strongly submit our thoughts unto the only true Word, that is, Jesus. In challenging our self-talk, we get to speak truth against lies. We get to question what thoughts are truthful, and what thoughts are lies about who we are, how we see the world around us, and how we think about situations. 

• Renew your mind daily.
• In Romans 12:2 we learn that we are “transformed by renewing our minds”. CBT describes how you can have a new perspective on the way you think, feel and behave by changing how you see situations. This can be done at any point in time, even reflecting upon past experiences. It is a quick tool to use by asking “Do I really believe this or not?” Renewing the mind is a major attribute of CBT.

• Meditate on these things…
• Phil 4:8 teaches that we are to think on “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy”. This fits along with CBT as it pushes people to think positively and with a gratitude perspective. CBT says the more you think on positive things, the more it will change your “thoughts, feelings and emotions” for the better, and this component is seen in Phil 4:8.

• WWJD
• What Would Jesus Do? Jesus’ approach had elements of CBT when he said, “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow has enough worry of its own,”(Matt 6:34). This indicates the importance of living in the present, being aware of the moment you’re in and not of the future or past. This confronts anxiety (being weighed down by the future) and depression (being weighed down by the past).

So if you are in the OKC Metro area, and you are looking to utilize CBT Christian approaches, don’t hesitate to contact New Vision Counseling. These therapists will find ways to apply therapies and counseling techniques that are best suited for you—whether CBT or other approaches.

Written by: 
Caleb McKean, LPC

Caleb focuses on the gospel of Jesus with the strength of the Holy Spirit to help you identify your purpose through scripture, and find tools that will guide you even when you are done with Counseling.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Is a solution-focused, goal-oriented form of talk therapy that combines cognitive and behavioral principles and methods to treat a wide range of issues including depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorders, to name a few (APA, n.d.).  CBT assumes that psychological distress is, in part, due to faulty or unhelpful ways of thinking.  As unhelpful thoughts can make it difficult for a person to function confidently in different situations, CBT focuses on developing healthy strategies to address maladaptive thought patterns and behaviors to break the cycle of dysfunctional habitual behaviors.  The benefits of CBT include helping reduce stress, manage grief, cope with complicated relationships, and face many other common life challenges (Fenn & Bryne, 2013).

According to Corey (2009), CBT assumes that we are not disturbed by the events in our lives but that our emotions stem mainly from our beliefs, evaluations, interpretation, and reaction to life situations.  Emotional reactions are associated with basic beliefs and therefore cognitively created. This approach is based on a structured psychoeducational model that aims to change how a person thinks (cognitive) and what they do (behavior).  CBT, therefore, uses both cognitive and behavioral techniques.  Through the therapeutic process, you learn skills to help identify and dispute irrational beliefs that have been developed.  With an emphasis on the present, CBT focuses on ‘here and now’ problems and difficulties instead of spending inordinate time on past events.  This approach addresses current issues in addition to future problems.

Getting the most out of CBT

CBT is not effective for everyone.  Here are a few tips that will help you get the most out of your sessions:

• Think of therapy as a partnership. 
• CBT is a collaborative therapy, requiring the individual and counselor to work together to set mutually agreed goals.  Goals should be specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-limited.  Therapy is most effective when you are an active participant and share in decision-making and goal setting.  Give some thought to what you want to discuss during sessions.

• Do not be afraid to open up. 
• It is normal to experience difficulty opening up about your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.  As success with therapy depends on your willingness to disclose, discuss any reservations about opening up with your therapist.

• Follow your treatment plan. 
• You may feel tempted to skip sessions if you are experiencing a significant increase or even decrease in mood; however, doing so may disrupt your progress. Make a commitment to attend sessions as scheduled. 

• Don’t expect instant results.
• Working through emotional issues can be painful and challenging, especially if something taught you that feelings were unsafe.  You may feel worse until you learn to accept and tolerate your feelings. You may need several sessions before you begin to see progress.

• Do your homework!
• Homework assignments are used to reinforce the learning of CBT concepts.  An emphasis on the role of homework assignments that draws from a variety of cognitive and behavioral strategies to bring about change places responsibility on you, the client, to assume an active role in applying what you are learning in your daily life.  As therapy is seen as an educational process, you are encouraged to read self-help books as well as practicing healthy coping skills outside of regular therapy sessions. Making change is challenging but doing work outside of the session is an essential step in learning how to adjust your own thinking, problematic emotions and behavior.

• “I don’t feel any different.”
• If you don’t feel that you’re benefiting from CBT after several sessions, talk to your therapist. You and your therapist can explore other treatment approaches.

Length of therapy

CBT is generally considered short-term therapy typically ranging from about five to 20 sessions (Fenn & Bryne, 2013). You and your therapist will discuss how many sessions may be right for you.  Factors that determine the length of therapy include type of disorder or situation, severity of symptoms (frequency, intensity, and duration), and how quickly you make progress.

Is Christian counseling in Edmond or Oklahoma City your next step to breaking free of fears and finding peace? If so, give us a call or schedule your free consultation.  Let us work with you on your path to healing and restoration.  We look forward to hearing from you.

Written by: Donnulette Dulaney, MS LPC

Donnulette Dulaney, is a Licensed Professional Counselor that uses a collaborative, client-centered approach that focuses on what you as a “one of a kind” person needs, and works towards achieving your goals and creating a life that you are excited to live!

References

American Psychological Association. (n.d.).  What is cognitive behavioral therapy?  Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/patients-and-families/cognitive-behavioral

Corey, G. (2009, 2005).  Theory and practice of counseling and psychotherapy. (8th ed.).  Belmont, CA.

Fenn, K, and Bryne, M. (2013).  The key principles of cognitive behavioural therapy.   Retrieved from https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1755738012471029

Will Marriage Counseling help?

Where has the time gone?  You quietly tell yourself “I guess nothing lasts forever”.

You used to be so in love with each other. Enjoying each other’s company and time spent with the family, but now the spark, romance is gone.

Sure you both still say the words “I love you,” but there is something a bit hollow in them.

A stay at home mom and your husband working all the time leaves you both feeling empty and alone.

Household responsibilities and work seem to get in the way of taking time enjoying each other or the kids.  There is no time for going to the park, walks throughout the neighborhood, or any meaningful interaction as a family.

By the time the chaos of the evening finally winds down, it’s as though one of you or both are completely exhausted and checked out.  What’s worse is that this is the only opportunity you have with one another before the lights go out and you rinse and repeat.

You’ve tried being nice, sending cute texts, focusing more on the other person, providing non-sexual touch, and it feels as though it goes unnoticed.

Your sex life has been emotionally reduced down to a one-night stand.

You’re struggling in every aspect of life trying to hold on to a love that once blossomed.

Not to mention worrying about the kids!!

You want your Marriage Back

Oh, how you want to pour your love out and be loved in return.  You desire romance and friendship, not just to be a single parent raising your kids alone.

Maybe you’ve tried Marriage Counseling before and it was not successful.

If that is you, I am so sorry about your experience.  All too often, as a Marriage and Family Therapist, I hear this very sentiment from couples in their first counseling session.

In my experience marriage counseling, only works when both partners are willing to be open and honest with one another.  Couples have to actively participate in changing the rut they find themselves stuck in.

Here are 5 tips that I have personally seen, help couples like you in marriage counseling.

• RememberRemember how you felt when you first met, how you fell in love with one another, and why you chose to get married in the first place.  It’s time to remember the vows you made to one another at the altar.

  Try and remember the good times you had.  Right now it may be hard to see those good times, through the mess you’re in now, but try.

  You have the ability to change who you are right now and be who you once were.  Madly in love, so full of life and joy, do you remember?

• EngageUse this opportunity to begin pouring into your loved one.  The key in this is to not do this with the expectation of anything in return.  The goal here is to see once again the person you once were so in love with. And for them to feel love without strings attached.

  Take time to focus on your friendship.  There once was a time before you were lovers you were friends.  You most likely spent countless hours talking to one another about nothing and everything.

  Engage your spouse with your time.  You may not even realize how much time you are spending working or even thinking about work when you could be focusing on them.

• RekindleRekindle the fire.  When you build a fire you have to start with the kindling (the small pieces of twigs and dry stuff found on the ground).  These little pieces ignite quickly and burn fast. Their purpose is to burn long enough to ignite the bigger pieces of wood.

  This same principle should be applied to your smoldering relationship.  Begin by doing little things that mean so much to your partner with the hope that they will last long enough to light the bigger deeper parts of the heart.

• ResistAt all costs, resist.  Resist the urge to argue, fight, belittle, begin a tit-for-tat cycle.  These actions are some of the quickest ways to negate any positive momentum you’ve made.  Not only does it hurt your spouse, but it hurts you. It allows bitterness and resentment to creep into your relationship.

  Resist pointing fingers and the blame-game.  Relationships are not always 50/50, sometimes they are 80/20, 99/01, 60/40.  There are times when you have more to give and others where you need to receive.

• RequestRequest help from professionals that specialize in helping couples change their relationship.  If you have a medical condition, you’re going to seek out a specialist for your issue, not a generalist.  Would you like more information on counselors that specialize in Marriage Counseling OKC?

  If you’re seeing a counselor and do not feel it’s helping, request a referral to another counselor.  Requesting a referral does not mean that the counselor is bad, there are a number of reasons why counseling may not be working.

We provide Marriage Counseling in OKC and Edmond

Just because your marriage is struggling now, doesn’t mean it has to remain this way.  At New Vision Counseling we help struggling couples like you create a life worth celebrating.  We have 2 locations conveniently located in Oklahoma City and Edmond!!  Give us a Call or schedule your free consultation.  Let us work with you on your path to healing and restoration.  We look forward to hearing from you.

Written by:  Daniel Edwards, II., MS, LMFT.  Daniel is a Licensed Marital and Family Therapist that specializes in couples counseling focusing on building trust, respect, kindness, and affection in their relationships.

If you are in the process of looking for a counselor, let me first say congratulations!! Yes, congratulations for beginning the steps of self-care.  Gyms and weight loss programs are full in January and February, with New Year’s resolutions. Perhaps more important is our mental health. A few years ago, it was reported that by 2020, anxiety disorders would be the 2nd leading diagnosis for mental health.  Counselors can also help couples struggling in marriage, trauma, pre-marital, family issues, a wide range of emotional issues that can keep you from living your best life.  To help you navigate how to find a counselor that fits your needs we are going to share questions you can ask to help you connect with the right person. 

A few short years ago, when people needed to look for a service, they turned to the yellow pages!  Do you even know what a phone book is? Baby boomers may have an old one laying around but that is not the place to look for your counselor.  Ads in phone books are not regulated or verified!  

Where do you go when looking for a service?  Chances are, you google something like Counselor in OKC.  That is a good place to start, google reviews lets you read comments about people’s experiences with therapist and what different offices in your area have to offer.  New Vision has great reviews because we have awesome therapists!! I would not hesitate to give any of our therapists a referral. This leads us to our first question, if you have a friend that is a therapist, ask if he or she could refer you to a therapist.  They will be able to give you names of therapist they know and trust.  

You can ask another professional, someone, you work with, someone you trust and that has a good network of other professionals.  You can ask friends and family if they will be supportive and not intrusive. You shouldn’t feel like you need to explain the reason you need a counselor.  Counselor’s have a wide range of skills and there could be a hundred different reasons you are seeking a counselor; you don’t owe anyone an explanation. 

You can also ask your human resources personnel at work if they offer an EAP, an Employee Assistance Program, some businesses offer EAP’s as part of your benefits plan and will pay for a specified number of counseling sessions.   Your insurance company may also be able to give you referrals to counselors in OKC who are paneled with them. Therapist who are paneled with insurance companies, have been vetted and credentials checked and re-checked. 

Use the internet, sites like Psychology Today, are used by professionals to help you find what you are looking for in a therapist.  You can search for Counselors in your area, the therapist professional qualifications, their specialties, insurance they take, and a biography are listed. If you want a Christian counselor, you can look at sites like Christian Counselor’s Network, or American Association of Christian Counselors, again credentials and education are screened before they will list them as a referral.

Gather a list of two or three counselors that pique your interest.  A great therapist will build a relationship with you, give you skills and walk beside you to be the best version of you. If you are struggling with unprocessed emotions, they will be able to help you walk through how to deal with uncomfortable, painful, negative emotions.  If you do not make a connection with the first one try the next one on your list until you find the one that puts you at ease and can draw out the emotions you have been stuffing and avoiding. The process is sometimes painful but can make a world of difference when you know you are no longer fighting the battle alone.

Once you have your top 2 or 3 counselors, you can call and ask specific questions to see if they feel like a good fit and if you connect with them.  New Vision offers a free 10-minute phone consultation, this would be a good time to use that opportunity. You want to be able to trust, build a rapport, and feel at ease while navigating through issues that can be debilitating in your daily activities and keeping you from living your best life and feeling like you are reaching your full potential.  

Let 2020 be the start of you taking charge of your mental health, of you taking care of your overall wellbeing, not only getting in physical shape but working on your mental health as well.  A new decade a new you, taking care of mind, body, and soul!

 

Partner with New Vision Counseling because we use Biblical Principles combined with cutting edge Counseling Techniques to help you Discover what better looks like for you and then Equip you with the tools to Create it.

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