How do I Improve my Boundaries?

Improve Boundaries

Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is essential for leading a fulfilling life. Personal boundaries exist to protect your physical, emotional, and mental well-being and encourage healthy relationships. When you clarify your boundaries, you open yourself up to the opportunity to nurture more satisfying relationships, manage your time and energy more effectively, and reduce your stress levels. Establishing boundaries is not easy, especially if you have a tendency to people-please. If you often say “yes” out of guilt or because you are afraid to upset others, then you know it is time to examine your boundaries. Below are some helpful tips to assist you in forming healthy boundaries in your life.

Identify Your Boundaries

To begin, identify your values, feelings, and priorities. Consider what is important to you and how you want to protect it. A good way to begin this process is to reflect on your emotional state and identify what emotional triggers you experience in different situations. Once you clarify what values and emotions drive you, you will have a better idea of what boundaries to set. Beginning this process can be difficult, but one thing to remember is that if people are becoming upset by your new boundaries, you are heading in the right direction. Everyone should not have an infinite amount of access to your time, energy, and emotions, but reclaiming your life can cause others to become confused. This confusion can be diminished by having a healthy conversation about why and how you are reshaping your life. By setting proper boundaries you can increase your time management skills and create a safe space to recharge your emotional batteries.



Take responsibility for communicating your boundaries. To ensure that you are getting your point across, it is important to be firm, but also remember to be respectful. It is helpful to use “I” statements to explain how you are feeling without being confrontational. For example, you could say something like “When you talk to me in that tone of voice, I feel hurt and devalued.” This gives you the opportunity to explain how you feel without being accusatory or putting the blame on others. Your feelings are real and need to be validated. If someone in your life is not okay with this or tends to dismiss your feelings, it may be time to distance yourself and consider their role in your life.

Be Consistent

Enforcing boundaries can be difficult, especially if you have never set limits with others. Be consistent with your boundaries despite attempts to override them. If someone repeatedly ignores your boundaries, speak up. It is helpful to remind them of your limits, but be prepared to walk away if necessary. Boundaries are a sign of respect and demonstrate you value the other person. Anyone who refuses to accept them may not have a spot in your future life. The life where you choose to be the best, most loving version of yourself. A good way to begin this process is to simply say “no” when you feel the need to do so. Having a set plan in place so that you can proactively respond, instead of react in the moment, can prevent you from sinking back into your old habits.

Take care of Yourself

Care for Yourself

Self-care is so important if you desire to be a healthy and whole individual. This means caring for your emotional, mental, and physical self in a compassionate way. To practice emotional boundaries, consistently reflect on how you are feeling and take note when you notice a dip in your energy or mood. Doing so provides a road map for your limits and shows you where to draw the line in the future. To mentally care for your well-being, set limits on interactions with negative people and do not ruminate on negative subjects. Establishing healthy physical boundaries can include eating healthy foods and limiting sugar, or going to bed at the same time each night. This provides your body with stability and ensures you have the energy to get the things done that matter most to you.

Next Steps

Starting a new habit can seem intimidating but can be accomplished with the right help. We hope these guidelines encourage you to set healthy limits in your life. Should you have further questions about boundaries or need assistance in designing a life that inspires you, our therapists at New Vision Counseling and Consulting are here for you. We thrive on providing an understanding and compassionate space for you to share your story and get the help you need. Obtaining an empathetic and objective view of the obstacles that hold you back can be life-changing. Are you ready to begin your journey to a healthier you? Call today at (405) 921-7776