What are boundaries? Boundaries are self-guidelines you create in order to identify what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Without boundaries it allows your individuality to be defined by the needs of others. If you are living a life without boundaries you might be feeling emotions such as anger, resentment, or unfulfillment.
Boundaries are like a house. There are certain people you will allow in different areas of your house. Take your front porch vs. your living room. There are a lot of people you would allow on your front porch ranging from you mailman to your best friend. Your living room, on the other hand, is just for friends and family. Your living room represents parts of you that you would only share with the closest people to you. Without boundaries you might be allowing your mailman to watch tv in your living room.
In this blog, I will go over why setting personal boundaries is important for your well-being and relationships.
Well-Being
Boundaries are important to your well-being because it gives you a sense of self. You are able to differentiate what is healthy for you and what is burning you out. For example, say you pick your friend’s kids up from school everyday, but by doing this you are not able to cook dinner for your own family. Without boundaries you are allowing the needs of others to override your own needs. Boundaries strengthen your well-being by:
- Understanding your own values and beliefs
- Allows you to communicate your thoughts
- Know when a relationship is toxic
- Take responsibility for your own actions
- Identify your emotions
- Build independence
Relationships
Boundaries are important for your relationships because it allows you to give and receive respect. There are many types of boundaries in relationships. There are physical, sexual, time, financial, and expectation boundaries. If you do not set your own standards in these areas then it is easy for a person to take advantage of you. Also if you aren’t able to identify your own boundaries it will be hard to respect the boundaries of others. Here are some tips when setting boundaries in your relationships:
- Be honest and open
- Communicate in person
- Have a time for you to talk
- Have a time for you to listen
- Focus on yourself when creating boundaries
- Be consistent
Next Step
Are you having a hard time creating boundaries? Is it affecting your well-being or relationships? At New Vision Counseling and Consulting we have trained therapists that will walk alongside you as you identify and create boundaries that are going to produce the best version of yourself. You can reach us at (405) 921-7776 or go to our website at NewVisionCounseilng.org to learn more about how we can best help you.
