Category: Marriage and Family Services

3 Tips to Not Make In-Laws, Outlaws

Marriage brings about many changes and challenges. One such challenge is building a loving and cooperative relationship with your in-laws.  Here are three tips to keep the peace and steer clear of relationship pitfalls with In-Laws.

Establish clear boundaries right away.

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance. Psalm 16:6 (NIV).

Your home is intended to be one of the pleasant places to establish and develop a family.  The home is the space that should feel pleasant, safe, and beautiful.  When couples marry, they must determine what their pleasant place looks and feels like. Although healthy relationships with family can be the most challenging to establish and form, healthy boundaries must be established to prevent any disruption to this sanctuary.   Couples should discuss boundaries for in-laws before marriage and then communicate these boundaries with the in-laws to minimize conflict.  Consider this scripture, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24-25 (NIV).  As a married couple you and your spouse will establish values and traditions for your growing family apart from those of your parents and family including childrearing practices.  Your in-laws may not agree but you must both present a united front to your families.

Build a Healthy Relationship with Your In-Laws

“Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.”  Ephesians 6:2-3

This scripture extends to your in-laws as well. Treat in-laws like you would any other member of your family as they are your family.  Love your in-laws and tell them you do. Build a healthy relationship with your in-laws but do not expect to be close right away. Give your relationship the time it needs to grow. Discover ways to connect through shared hobbies or interests as it demonstrates that you are making an effort to know and understand them.  Listen to their stories even if you have heard them several times.  They can provide a wealth of knowledge and wisdom about life in general or about your partner, which may help you learn more about them. Also, it might make them feel good be listened to as well.   

Keep quarrels to yourself

“Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.  And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.”  II Timothy 2:23-24 (NIV)

Do not complain about your spouse to your parents or in-laws.  Hearing complaints will likely cause them to become defensive. In-laws will always take the side of their child, sibling, or family member. Discussing problems or issues in the marriage may make the situation worse.  Work out your issues privately with your spouse. Do not attempt to get your spouse’s family involved or make them choose sides. 

In a Conflict Between Your Spouse and Your Family, Support Your Spouse.

Your loyalty is to your spouse. It is your duty to support your husband or wife and manage your family in a way that consistently conveys this fact. Again, you must both present a united front to your families, making it clear from the beginning that your spouse comes first. Marital problems typically occur quickly in couples where an allegiance has not been established. A failure to support your partner may lead to bitter disputes and one partner feeling isolated.  You and your spouse must agree on how to handle issues as in-laws are an inherent part of your life. A mutual understanding will help nurture healthy relationships with your in-laws.   

Be as patient with in-laws as they learn to let go. Don’t complain to others or speak unfavorably of your in-laws. Do not compare your in-laws to your parents or family. Be willing to compromise. Your family may have different values that you feel need defending when you’re with your in-laws but do not take the bait!   Offense is one of the most common causes of relationship pitfalls with in-laws. Let go of the need to prove anything. Again, give your relationship with your in-laws time to grow.  

Marriage and Family Services

Simple Tips And Advice For Conquering Depression

Now you have what you need. You would like to feel better mentally and live a happier life. There is no time like the present. You may wonder how to begin. Don’t worry, this article may help you. Keep reading for some tips for treating depression that you can start using today.

Banish your blue moods by cutting sugar out of your diet, including the natural sugars contained in honey, fruits and molasses. Sugars are simple carbohydrates that enter our bloodstream a lot faster than carbohydrates like whole grains. These fast-burning sugars produce a quick jolt of energy, but the crash following after causes fatigue and tends to exacerbate the symptoms of depression.

Get some sun every singe day. It has been proven through studies that a correlation exists between lack of exposure to sunlight and increased depression.

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Sadness and clinical depression are different, but quite the same. One important step is to stay away from depression triggers. When you realize certain things that cause you to feel depressed, make sure you avoid them.

Grow your circle of friends so that you’re not continually pushing all your feelings on just your best friend. You run the risk of that person becoming burnt out listening to you.

Listening to some relaxing music can really help, and playing music is even better. The same holds true for all of the arts, being involved in them, even if you aren’t that good, can be a great way to deal with hard times.

Support your loved ones who suffer from depression. Depressed loved ones need comfort during difficult times. There are resources, both in books and online, that can help you to help your loved one.

If you are ever prescribed antidepressants, take the medication and do so as directed. Never take either less or more medication than you are prescribed, and never stop the medication suddenly without talking to your doctor first, as it may be dangerous. You must be slowly weaned off antidepressants.

If you have depression, it may be helpful to join an online support group. Being anonymous in an online group can help you be more honest and open to others that you may not be able to do with those that you know. You will find many groups online concerning depression.

Don’t neglect food just because you don’t feel like eating. A lot of the time when people are depressed they tend not to eat, usually because their sadness overtakes them. Make sure to eat enough food to keep you healthy, even if you are not hungry.

One effective way to soothe depression is to try to be positive, no matter what happens. If you keep a positive attitude toward your situation, you will be able to work actively and find solutions.

Control your stress. Stress makes depression worse and makes it stick around longer. Examine what is happening in your life, and then determine what it is that is causing you stress. When you have identified your stressors, you will be better able to address them and minimize them, or even conquer them.

Dress well each and every day. If you’re wearing old, dirty clothes it’s easy to be depressed. Looking sad makes you feel said. Try dressing nicely each day. Just take a shower and do your hair. This can help you feel good about the way you look.

If you feel down and in a rut, venture outside for a refreshing change of pace. Don’t give in to your negative mindset because it can lead to a viscous cycle of even more depression. You’ll realize there’s a beautiful world out there if you actually step out in it and experience it.

Beware of phenylalnine, a common amino acid that is not good for depressed people. It contains an allergenic compound. Depressive people are usually allergic to items, and phenol can boost reactions right away. It is important to keep this product out of your daily diet.

Unemployment is a frequent cause of depression. It can be hard to get used to the lack of income after you have been released from your job. Not being able to pay bills adds to that feeling of depression, despite it being temporary.

Consider scheduling an appointment to see a psychological counselor. Therapy and medication is a great combination to treat depression. Research has documented the simultaneous effectiveness of the pair is far greater than either medication or therapy individually. Meditation helps you manage immediate mood downswings. Therapy helps you determine what is causing your depression.

To treat depression, it is a good idea to eat well-balanced meals regularly. Eating a breakfast full of protein and whole grains will speed up your metabolism and keep you feeling fuller longer. One important item to include on your menu is cold water fish. Research has linked Omega-3 fatty acids found in salmon, tuna, and other cold-water fish to an easing of depression.

Sometimes, it just takes a bite of chocolate to beat depression back. Studies show that eating chocolate releases endorphins into the body, and these are mood-altering chemicals. This may help you to feel better.

Sometimes our actual life is the reason for depression. If your employment or partner in life is the cause, you certainly need to remove yourself from that situation. Don’t be afraid of the consequences if this is the cause. You simply cannot worry about the feelings of others when the situation is causing your life and well-being to spiral out of control. It actually can be that easy. People have to respect your decision.

You likely now feel empowered to tackle your depression. The above tips are meant to help you battle depression and feel better. Remember that help exists should you ever need it.

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