Motherhood- what they don’t tell you
Motherhood is such a blessing. And while that’s not wrong, it seems to be the only light that’s shed on the topic, until you experience it for yourself.
When the time comes to actually experience it, it’s not your fault that in your mind, motherhood is supposed to be nothing but a joyous occasion, with hours of snuggles and lots of sleep, because all newborns do is sleep… right? And toddlers, they just do everything they are told and end their sentences with yes ma’am, no ma’am, right?
Wrong. Instead, you’re deeply exhausted in every sense of the word. If someone isn’t tugging on your shirt, repeating your name thirty-seven times rapid fire while you’re attempting to prepare food, there’s at least someone else touching you, wanting you, needing you. Not to mention the constant noise. The never-ending crying, screaming, whining, and fighting. And what about the mess? Should we go there, or should I just leave that part out like everyone else does? Let’s just say if you are a clean freak before kids, you’re either going to need to get over that obsession, or get ready to double down on your anxiety and exhaustion trying to keep up with it.
It’s absolutely no wonder why moms all over the world are at the end of their ropes by 6:15 a.m. It seems to take as little as ten minutes to be completely drained physically and emotionally in the world of a mom. And, as a mom it’s part of the job to offer kindness and empathy to fill up the cups of our loved ones, but how are we expected to do that when our own cups are empty.
It’s disappointing, to say the least, when our expectations of motherhood don’t match up to the realities of caring for children daily, let alone newborns. And what’s more, to finally reach that moment at the end of the day, when by the Grace of God, it’s time to initiate sleep, only to learn that sleep comes in fleeting spurts all night long and then after the half hour of sleep you received to then wake up and start all over again.
You’re not alone.
As mothers we are expected to dive in head first into this incredibly important role with very little to no training and not only survive, but thrive. All while recovering from the mental and physical trauma of childbirth and adjusting to a life completely different from the one we once enjoyed full of freedom.
You’re not a bad mom or a bad person for having feelings of frustration and defeat. Your job is unbelievably difficult, and you’re likely doing much better than you think! Go easy on yourself and remember that God knew you before he formed you in your mother’s womb, and he knew your child before he formed them in your womb. He set you apart from others and appointed YOU to be your child’s mother.
If you or someone you love is struggling with being a mom, at New Vision Counseling and Consulting we have caring therapists who are trained to help you successfully navigate this season where the days are long and the years are short. We want to be your safe place to be vulnerable and to receive the kind of care that makes a positive difference. You can reach us at (405) 921-7776 to learn more about how we can best serve you.