Is premarital counseling worth it? What is it? Why should my fiance attend that awkward meeting with his future mother-in-law? Will it ensure a successful marriage? What if premarital counseling reveals that I am not compatible with my fiance’? These are all questions you should be asking yourself if you are planning on tying the knot. In this blog, I’ll cover why premarital counseling is beneficial and help you evaluate whether it’s worth your while.
Benefits of Premarital Counseling
Marriage is a big decision and one of the most significant commitments we will make in life, so taking the necessary steps to prepare is essential for the longevity of your relationship. The benefits of premarital counseling are well-documented. Couples who go through the process are more likely to stay together and have happier marriages. But what exactly is premarital counseling? It’s exactly what it sounds like- a series of meetings between a couple and a qualified therapist before they get married. It’s meant to help you and your fiance’ identify any issues that could lead to problems down the road and to help you discover healthy ways to deal with your differences and build a foundation that can last.
In addition to helping you prepare for marriage, premarital counseling also teaches you and your partner about healthy communication skills such as active listening (paying attention), expressing feelings in an appropriate way (without blaming or criticizing), and problem solving together instead of arguing over who’s right/wrong etc. These kinds of things aren’t always easy when you’re stressed out by life’s daily pressures–but they’re important! Emotional identification and regulation can be difficult for even the most cognizant individuals, so it is important to learn to name your emotions, and be able to effectively communicate them to your partner. A healthy way to ensure that they understand your point of view is to have them reflect back what they heard you say. This helps to diminish misunderstandings and miscommunication.
Identifying Potential Problems
Premarital counseling is a good way to identify issues in your relationship before they become serious. It’s also a chance for both of you to discuss your goals for the future and how you’ll work together as a team. Your therapist will guide you and your fiance in discussing various aspects of your relationship such as intimacy, values, family planning, and how to best deal with potential conflicts. Love is a powerful thing but does not always guarantee compatibility. By discussing areas that you both value and areas that may require compromise, you can decide what matters most and find solutions to meet in the middle. Remember, there will not always be complete resolutions for some arguments.. Sometimes this means agreeing to disagree so that the vitality of your relationship remains intact.
In the beginning of a relationship and early in marriage, it may be easy to remain devoted to your partner, but too often differences, selfish gain, and hasty decision making can diminish the mutual care and respect that you always vowed to give to your partner. We must keep in mind that it is you and your partner vs. the problem, rather than you vs. your partner. Always feel the need to be right? This is a habit that can quickly become exhausting and can create a wedge in between you and your partner. Focusing on proving your partner wrong is a losing situation. People come from different walks of life and have different subjective experiences, so it is impossible to agree on everything. A healthy way to express a differing viewpoint is to say, “I understand what you are saying, but I have a different perspective.” This gives you the opportunity to explain where you are coming from and to work on meeting in the middle.
Premarital counseling is an essential step to building a strong and enduring marriage. It will help you and your fiance’ navigate the journey ahead by providing you with the tools and skills you need to face future challenges. It is extremely beneficial to address potential issues before they hijack your relationship and jeopardize your happiness with one another. By scheduling premarital counseling, you are investing in the future of your marriage. At New Vision Counseling and Consulting, our therapists are trained in providing knowledgeable support that you can utilize in your marriage such as conflict resolution, communication skills, and building trust. Call and speak with our client care specialist today to get more information and resources about our counseling services. We can be reached by calling (405) 921-7776.