The Best Thing I did For My Son

The Best Thing I did For My Son

My son Hayden was turning 9, and I knew that his double digit trip was important. You may be thinking, what is a double digit and why is it important? Well, in America we don’t have clear transitions from boyhood to manhood. And boys DO NOT become Godly men by accident. We lack clear definitions and thus most boys learn to measure their progress into manhood by the billfold (money), the bedroom (sexual conquests) and the boardroom (success in careers). I wanted something different for my son and His double digit trip was his first ceremony that clearly defined and celebrated what that difference would be best marriage therapist okc.

Hayden is an amazing boy, but we were having struggles with his relentless strong will which he demonstrated through arguing about most things, making excuses for behavior, and simply trying to get out of being responsible for himself. To guide me in my journey I researched Scriptures on Biblical manhood and read books like King Me (Steve Farrar) and Raising a Modern Day Knight (Robert Lewis). I also sought out the advice of men who had raised boys who became men who love Jesus. My son Hayden is a true warrior best marriage therapist okc. And all warriors wield incredible power to help or to harm depending on who they serve and are loyal to. I, like many of you reading this, want my son to bend his knee and surrender his life to live for God and not self. So, you are likely wondering how the double digit trip helps? Great question.

First, the trip takes him away from his family, friends and normal life. We then have an open space and the margin for him to hear from me and God in ways that typically aren’t available in his normal routines. This was our “man’s” trip and he had looked forward to it since I took his sister on her double digit trip two years earlier.

Second, I wanted to grow closer in our relationship. And men and boys do this best through activities and most specifically adventures. You can go hiking, camping, fishing or something way different. We chose to go to Legoland, a marine wildlife center, six flags, and the zoo. We shared meals at fun restaurants. At the Rainforest restaurant the waiter had him standing on a seat by a Gorilla and beating his chest in front of the entire restaurant. In that moment he was ushered into bravery by a waiter who called him out to not be afraid of what people think. He was able to be himself and embrace the moment best marriage therapist okc.

Third, I had very clear messages I wanted to sow into his heart. I wanted him to reject passivity, accept responsibility for himself and those God calls him to, and lead courageously no matter who follows. I shared these messages while we drove, on our adventures, and when we faced adversity during our trip. When you are looking for them, circumstances will provide the backdrop to teach these lessons. We were rained out on the day we planned to go to six flags and he was heart broken as this was the highlight of our trip for him. We prayed and discussed how God calls us to handle unmet expectations as we ate lunch. We then purchased ponchos and headed to the theme park. As soon as we parked and got our ponchos on the sun came out…Amazing! We were only a handful of people that were at the park because of the rain and we have a story about God’s faithfulness along with other situations that didn’t work out best marriage therapist okc. We had the entire car ride home to process the adventures we had and the lessons we have learned. And by God’s grace and faithfulness, Hayden has accepted the calling up and has done better at rejecting passivity, accepting responsibility, and leading courageously since our trip.

So where are you today? You may feel like its too late or this is too overwhelming to even think about starting. I have great news, God is on your side. In Malachi 4:6 God says; “He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers.

* What are three actionable steps you can take this week to begin preparing to raise your son to become a Godly man?

Here is one step I took when I realized that I needed help. I sought out other Godly men who had sons and others that I knew would love my son and invest in him best marriage therapist okc. I knew I couldn’t do this alone and you don’t have to either! And if you are a single mom this step is crucial because we cannot give away what we don’t possess.

Shawn Maguire is the Owner of New Vision Counseling in Oklahoma City OK where he serves with a team of counselors to help individuals, marriages, and families recapture the vision God has for their lives.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Andrew BrownAndrew Brown
11:05 06 Feb 24
Shawn called me directly and sought out a resolution with me for a recent poor experience I had. He showed genuine care and consideration over the phone, and demonstrated he truly cares about the clients that come here and wants everyone to get the help they need. That's how it needs to be in any place helping others in God. God bless.
Andy EatonAndy Eaton
21:00 11 Oct 23
I totally recommend Josh Rhoades. He's helped me overcome a lot of anxiety and work-related stress and the effects it's had on me this year. For any guys out there wondering if they should go to counseling, you should definitely give Josh and New Vision a try.
Mark VonFeldtMark VonFeldt
12:04 23 Aug 23
I admit I didn't think I needed counciling but when I hit a tough period in life. Caleb McKean at New Vison Counseling was extrodinary in helping me out and providing encourgement, prespective and confidence. In addition, it was great seeing Shawn McGuire who consitantly provided an uplifting personality that’s just contagious.
Elizabeth ProtzmanElizabeth Protzman
11:41 24 May 23
My husband and I just wrapped up counseling with Shawn. And if you told me 6 months ago our family would be how we are now, I would have been in total disbelief. Shawn’s approach to counseling is next level and took us to new places we never thought that we could experience freedom and he put a light on places we never knew were still dragging us down.My husband (before counseling) had past trauma that weighed him down so heavily that his negative self talk was taking over his mental life. He was completely unable to be social anywhere, see positivity in anything, and talked with a super meek voice because he didn’t see worth in himself. We thought that “this is just his personality”, but Shawn was able to uncover the trauma that was holding him back and helped him break free of it. He now speaks with a voice to be heard and even he engages in social situations!I went through a terrible health scare while we were going through sessions. My optometrist thought that I had a tumor or fluid build up in my skull. Shawn helped me navigate all of the feelings that I kept shoving down. On my second session of talking about this medical situation, we really got to the root of my stress and behavior in this situation and in life. I felt a ton of weight lifted off of me in that moment just by digging out every root in my heart that wasn’t welcome there. Later that day (a Thursday) I had my MRI scans and that Sunday I woke up headache/migraine free for the first time in four months. Monday I got the news that nothing was there. I truly believe that God did a healing work in that therapy session. A physical healing of my body and a spiritual healing of my mind.Through all of this Shawn was not only there for just our counseling sessions, but when I was going through all of the medical stuff he would check in and see how everything was going. He recommended for my husband to go to a camp that absolutely played a part in changing my husband’s life. And all that I’ve shared is only the surface of all of the healing we received. I would have to write a novel for the rest, lol.If you’re looking for healing and willing to show up and put in the work…Shawn will help you get there.
Steve RodriguezSteve Rodriguez
14:25 06 May 22
New Vision Counseling and Consulting saved my marriage as they helped and are helping me deal with my issues with depression and anxiety. I have been taught new methods of dealing with these issues and they are life saving. I have enjoyed my experience with Shawn Maguire, the best therapist I could ask for, and feel this place is a Godsend. I never thought therapy would work for me but I was wrong and wish I had come here sooner. Excited for what the future holds.

Easy to Get Started
Click an Option Below

Our Location

11209 N May Ave
Oklahoma City, OK 73120

(405) 921-7776