If you have not personally experienced grief before, you will at some point because loss is a painful part of this life. When you grieve someone or something it can impact every part of you. Grief can affect your physical health, behavior, spiritual beliefs, social life, emotions and your cognitive functioning. Depending on the significance of your loss; no part of you would remain untouched. This looks different for each of us and these factors Don’t have a specific duration or intensity.

If you are someone who has experienced grief before you might have heard or been told various misconceptions on what grief should look like for you. These myths might have left you feeling confused, misunderstood, and alone as you try to navigate through a significant loss in your life. This blog will go over various myths about grief that have been turned into facts over the years.

Myth #1: There is a Specific Sequence of Emotions for Grief

Most of you have probably heard of the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. You might have been told that once you get through one phase you move to the next until you are “healed”. Unfortunately, the journey of grief is not that easy to define. We are all unique individuals and thus we will have our own unique journey through the pain of grief. Not everyone is going to experience all of these emotions as they are grieving, and some people may experience each of these more than once.

Everyone’s healing process looks different. For example, two siblings were grieving their mother’s death. One sibling over the span of three years, had waves of anger pop in and out of her life. The other one never experienced anger but spent the majority of the first year depressed. Neither of these individuals were grieving incorrectly. The important rule in grief is that you discover a personalized path to work through grief in a way that is healthy and right for you.

Myth #2: Grief has a Deadline

Warden’s Task of Mourning explains how there are no checkpoints to grief and that it is more of a fluctuating process. You learn to embrace a new lifestyle without the person, job, pet or whatever you have lost. Grief does not have a specific time where it will just stop. Instead, you learn how to cope, manage, and live with the loss you endured. Throughout your life grief will come and go, but it does not mean that you have not made progress towards healing.

There is a 23-year old woman that had her spouse suddenly die in a car accident. 5 years later she struggled with the guilt that came from still grieving his death. She had moved on and was now dating someone new, but never understood why she still had grieving periods. So how did she get help? She began identifying her triggers, finding ways to cope with those triggers, and being able to honor him in her new relationship helped her release the guilt she had been experiencing.

Myth #3: Grief is Harder on Women than Men

There are multiple stereotypes that come along with grief, one of them being that men do not experience grief the same way that women experience it. It is not surprising that this is a stereotype considering that we live in a society where if men are emotional it has traditionally been perceived as weakness.

No matter if you are a man,woman or identify as someone else, all of us need to accept permission to walk through grief in our own way. It is important that you see a grieving individual as a person and not as their gender. One way that one can be more empathetic to men that are grieving is becoming aware of our own personal biases and stereotypes. And if you are a man, giving yourself permission to be sad and to show emotion in ways that are healthy for you.

If you would like someone to help walk with you and guide you in your grief journey we are here. You do not have to walk this road alone. You can reach us at (405) 921-7776 or on the web at NewVisionCounseling.org. We look forward to hearing from you soon!

Written by Darby Hargrove and Shawn Maguire, LPC. Shawn owns New Vision Counseling and Consulting and has trained a team of therapists who help their clients achieve life changing results. Because of their success in helping clients heal and come alive they are currently the top rated and reviewed counseling practice in Oklahoma.

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Andrew BrownAndrew Brown
11:05 06 Feb 24
Shawn called me directly and sought out a resolution with me for a recent poor experience I had. He showed genuine care and consideration over the phone, and demonstrated he truly cares about the clients that come here and wants everyone to get the help they need. That's how it needs to be in any place helping others in God. God bless.
Andy EatonAndy Eaton
21:00 11 Oct 23
I totally recommend Josh Rhoades. He's helped me overcome a lot of anxiety and work-related stress and the effects it's had on me this year. For any guys out there wondering if they should go to counseling, you should definitely give Josh and New Vision a try.
Mark VonFeldtMark VonFeldt
12:04 23 Aug 23
I admit I didn't think I needed counciling but when I hit a tough period in life. Caleb McKean at New Vison Counseling was extrodinary in helping me out and providing encourgement, prespective and confidence. In addition, it was great seeing Shawn McGuire who consitantly provided an uplifting personality that’s just contagious.
Elizabeth ProtzmanElizabeth Protzman
11:41 24 May 23
My husband and I just wrapped up counseling with Shawn. And if you told me 6 months ago our family would be how we are now, I would have been in total disbelief. Shawn’s approach to counseling is next level and took us to new places we never thought that we could experience freedom and he put a light on places we never knew were still dragging us down.My husband (before counseling) had past trauma that weighed him down so heavily that his negative self talk was taking over his mental life. He was completely unable to be social anywhere, see positivity in anything, and talked with a super meek voice because he didn’t see worth in himself. We thought that “this is just his personality”, but Shawn was able to uncover the trauma that was holding him back and helped him break free of it. He now speaks with a voice to be heard and even he engages in social situations!I went through a terrible health scare while we were going through sessions. My optometrist thought that I had a tumor or fluid build up in my skull. Shawn helped me navigate all of the feelings that I kept shoving down. On my second session of talking about this medical situation, we really got to the root of my stress and behavior in this situation and in life. I felt a ton of weight lifted off of me in that moment just by digging out every root in my heart that wasn’t welcome there. Later that day (a Thursday) I had my MRI scans and that Sunday I woke up headache/migraine free for the first time in four months. Monday I got the news that nothing was there. I truly believe that God did a healing work in that therapy session. A physical healing of my body and a spiritual healing of my mind.Through all of this Shawn was not only there for just our counseling sessions, but when I was going through all of the medical stuff he would check in and see how everything was going. He recommended for my husband to go to a camp that absolutely played a part in changing my husband’s life. And all that I’ve shared is only the surface of all of the healing we received. I would have to write a novel for the rest, lol.If you’re looking for healing and willing to show up and put in the work…Shawn will help you get there.
Steve RodriguezSteve Rodriguez
14:25 06 May 22
New Vision Counseling and Consulting saved my marriage as they helped and are helping me deal with my issues with depression and anxiety. I have been taught new methods of dealing with these issues and they are life saving. I have enjoyed my experience with Shawn Maguire, the best therapist I could ask for, and feel this place is a Godsend. I never thought therapy would work for me but I was wrong and wish I had come here sooner. Excited for what the future holds.

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